For real, life is weirder than fiction

April23 said:
You've already dug up the grave again replying to the email. If an ex of mine emailed me in the same fashion I would have deleted it with brut force. I have no curiousity in what they need to say to me.

Im a bitch though. :-\
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You have exes?
 
for me, when i'm faced with a decision of any kind, i wonder what's the best decision that will NOT allow for any regret.
will you regret talking to him? will you regret moving on?

he'll never be your past if you keep him in the present.
 
Thorn Bird said:
for me, when i'm faced with a decision of any kind, i wonder what's the best decision that will NOT allow for any regret.
will you regret talking to him? will you regret moving on?

he'll never be your past if you keep him in the present.
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Allejujiah! or whatever.
 
April23 said:
All my ex's live in Texas.
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All my ex's live in Texas,
And Texas is a place I'd dearly love to be.
But all my ex's live in Texas
And that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee.


This forum is good with advice, you all have your shit together. Thanks :heart:
 
Thorn Bird said:
for me, when i'm faced with a decision of any kind, i wonder what's the best decision that will NOT allow for any regret.
will you regret talking to him? will you regret moving on?

he'll never be your past if you keep him in the present.
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My biggest problem (besides having unshakable hiccups right now) is my inability to eject people from my life, even when their presence is toxic. Actually, I'm getting better, if people make me feel bad then I tell them, you're mean, I don't want people like you in my life... and that typically doesn't go over very well... and I hate conflict. To just disappear seems cold, because I know if the roles were reversed, that would be an awful thing. Currently my inner bitch and my inner doormat are at odds.
 
zengirl said:
No, I already divorced the guy, reconciliation isn't an option. :lol:

I don't think Ryan would approve
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He'd understand. Heck, he may even be for it!
 
...isn't the 'thank you' thing one of the steps in AA? Or confronting your past or something like that.

He needs to rewrite that though to contain the phrase 'Hyper + jerk' somewhere in there.
 
zengirl said:
My biggest problem (besides having unshakable hiccups right now) is my inability to eject people from my life, even when their presence is toxic. Actually, I'm getting better, if people make me feel bad then I tell them, you're mean, I don't want people like you in my life... and that typically doesn't go over very well... and I hate conflict. To just disappear seems cold, because I know if the roles were reversed, that would be an awful thing. Currently my inner bitch and my inner doormat are at odds.
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i get that. i respect that. i understand that completely! so...maybe this is the reason he's here...not so much for what he wants, but this is life's way of letting you practice INBITCH vs. INDOOR...which do you need to be stronger right now?
 
Millions said:
...isn't the 'thank you' thing one of the steps in AA? Or confronting your past or something like that.

He needs to rewrite that though to contain the phrase 'Hyper + jerk' somewhere in there.
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Actually, now that you mention it...

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
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He did tell me last year he'd be contacting me when he made it to the 9th step...
 
I don't know about all this psychobabble and getting in touch with the inner you b.s., but you seriously just need to keep him at arms length. If he wants to shoot you an email and thank you for whatever reason, fine. If he wants to call you later, maybe not so fine. And if he wants to see you, for any reason, definitely not so fine.

The dude is your ex for a reason. You two have long since gone your separate ways, and now you have a life with Ryan. One life at a time, please. Let it go, move on, and tell the guy "No thanks" straight up. You can appreciate something positive from years prior without feeling obligated to revisit it whenever it rears its head again. There is no reason for this guy to still be in contact with you, and you need to be sensitive of Ryan's feelings and respect your current relationship enough to leave it alone. When you walk around you look ahead, not backwards.

Don't be that girl.
 
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