For real, life is weirder than fiction

Thorn Bird said:
you're not in control of his actions. because you meet with him does not mean that tomorrow's still not another day.

you're not in control of his success or his failure.

you can't change the way he makes his choices.

you CAN control your own life, and giving in to his multiple personalities he has when he feels like it is LOSING control.

what will it help to see him? WHO will it help to see each other?
Oh hell no, seeing each other isn't an option. I haven't seen him in 2 or 3 years, and the last time I did, he offered to get married again, he said, "We can give it another try, and we can even have separate bedrooms again just like before if that's what you wanted".

Um...

...

I do feel compassion for the guy, I do feel guilty. This whole situation explains a lot of my attitude and action the past 5 years, and I'm really trying to get over it now and realize that I am entitled to a life, and I am entitled to be happy.
 
Sarcasmo said:
You're practically already pregnant.
The best thing he could tell me at this point is that he met a wonderful woman, he's deeply in love, blissfully happy and they're expecting twins. I'm going to cross my fingers that's what he's going to tell me tonight. :lol:
 
zengirl said:
Oh hell no, seeing each other isn't an option. I haven't seen him in 2 or 3 years, and the last time I did, he offered to get married again, he said, "We can give it another try, and we can even have separate bedrooms again just like before if that's what you wanted".

Um...

...

I do feel compassion for the guy, I do feel guilty. This whole situation explains a lot of my attitude and action the past 5 years, and I'm really trying to get over it now and realize that I am entitled to a life, and I am entitled to be happy.


sounds like you have to figure out why you're feeling guilty. only take the good lessons from the past and from past mistakes, use them to better your present and future, and let it go. that's the only thing the past is good for anyway.
 
zengirl said:
I do feel compassion for the guy, I do feel guilty. This whole situation explains a lot of my attitude and action the past 5 years, and I'm really trying to get over it now and realize that I am entitled to a life, and I am entitled to be happy.
Nevermind. Now I know. Why do women always feel guilty?
 
zengirl said:
it's always easier to have an opinion of someone else's life than it is to actually live it

not really. For awhile I was a 14 year old Himilayan sherpa living with a group of stranded Frenchmen on the slope of a mountain deep within Tibet. That was a blast.
 
zengirl said:
The best thing he could tell me at this point is that he met a wonderful woman, he's deeply in love, blissfully happy and they're expecting twins. I'm going to cross my fingers that's what he's going to tell me tonight. :lol:


You know exactly what he's going to say, why kid yourself?
 
Thorn Bird said:
sounds like you have to figure out why you're feeling guilty. only take the good lessons from the past and from past mistakes, use them to better your present and future, and let it go. that's the only thing the past is good for anyway.
I feel guilty because I'm the one who left him. He would have been happy with satus quo forever but I wanted more, I wanted to be in love with someone and I wanted someone to be in love with me. Frankly he and I had too many skeletons in the closet for there to be a happy ending. I'm better off now than I was with him, and I could never have become this person with him, and it seems that he's taken a downward spiral the past 5 years, and I know me leaving started it. I kinda feel like I ruined his life.
 
zengirl said:
The best thing he could tell me at this point is that he met a wonderful woman, he's deeply in love, blissfully happy and they're expecting twins. I'm going to cross my fingers that's what he's going to tell me tonight. :lol:


Please record the conversation. Please? Have I ever told you how beautiful and wonderful you are? And how cute your cats are? And how awesome your whole family is?
 
zengirl said:
I feel guilty because I'm the one who left him. He would have been happy with satus quo forever but I wanted more, I wanted to be in love with someone and I wanted someone to be in love with me. Frankly he and I had too many skeletons in the closet for there to be a happy ending. I'm better off now than I was with him, and I could never have become this person with him, and it seems that he's taken a downward spiral the past 5 years, and I know me leaving started it. I kinda feel like I ruined his life.

Honestly, thats a silly girl answer. For the way his life is now is his damn fault.
 
Sarcasmo said:
Please record the conversation. Please? Have I ever told you how beautiful and wonderful you are? And how cute your cats are? And how awesome your whole family is?


lol wtf why does your ip say The host name is: mail2.godwingruber.com.

gods rubber?!
 
zengirl said:
I feel guilty because I'm the one who left him. He would have been happy with satus quo forever but I wanted more, I wanted to be in love with someone and I wanted someone to be in love with me. Frankly he and I had too many skeletons in the closet for there to be a happy ending. I'm better off now than I was with him, and I could never have become this person with him, and it seems that he's taken a downward spiral the past 5 years, and I know me leaving started it. I kinda feel like I ruined his life.


don't be so egotistical! :) really, and frankly, you don't have THAT much control over someone's happiness. if he was "happy" being status quo, that's his choice. he might've been content, but is that happy?

i don't know you, i don't know this guy, but you should create happiness together, not rely on it from someone else. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM, no matter how you think you might be...

you might be the excuse for him, but you aren't the reason.
 
April23 said:
Honestly, thats a silly girl answer. For the way his life is now is his damn fault.
Very true... haven't you ever felt conflicted between rationality and irrationality?
 
Thorn Bird said:
don't be so egotistical! :) really, and frankly, you don't have THAT much control over someone's happiness. if he was "happy" being status quo, that's his choice. he might've been content, but is that happy?

i don't know you, i don't know this guy, but you should create happiness together, not rely on it from someone else. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM, no matter how you think you might be...

you might be the excuse for him, but you aren't the reason.


We're going to be blowing steam thru her ears, I've seen it happen a billion times.

...unless she proves me wrong. ;)
 
zengirl said:
I feel guilty because I'm the one who left him. He would have been happy with satus quo forever but I wanted more, I wanted to be in love with someone and I wanted someone to be in love with me. Frankly he and I had too many skeletons in the closet for there to be a happy ending. I'm better off now than I was with him, and I could never have become this person with him, and it seems that he's taken a downward spiral the past 5 years, and I know me leaving started it. I kinda feel like I ruined his life.
:dont:

It's always guilt. It's not your fault he's a fuckup.

With all due respect, it's funny, people that are very good at giving relationship advice rarely turn the microscope on themselves and listen. You and dirk would be good examples.

I know that you're only talking to him once, but the torture of it isn't going to make his life better. You aren't doing him a favor by talking to him, you're only making it worse.