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Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Is the female version of teabagging a flapuccino?
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Sheep like to drive Lamborghinis.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
What kind of pants should you wear while driving?
Cargo pants.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
My labmates all hate that I deny having farted.
Say I'm "gaslighting" them.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
How do evil geniuses keep warm?
Secret layers.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
My friend says he can talk to vegetables.
Jack and the beans talk.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
My friend asked me if I'd heard of the hunchback of Notre Dame.
I said, "it rings a bell".
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
If you've never owned a telescope, it's definitely worth looking into.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
The suspenders were arrested for holding up a pair of pants.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
What's a PDF file, and why is my uncle being accused of being one?
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I'm in a lottery to get a new broom.
It's a sweepstakes.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
When
@AppleTurkey was pregnant, she had terrible cravings for fruit and veggies, so she sent me to the store frequently to reproduce.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Scientists combined watermelon with cauliflower.
Consumers of the new varietal were left with a sense of sadness known as meloncauli.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Science puns make me numb.
Math puns make me number.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I'm trying to come up with a joke about people who don't believe the earth is round, but I'm afraid it'll fall flat.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
What do you call a constipated detective?
No shit Sherlock.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
When I went to the doctor, she told me not to eat anything fatty.
I said, "what, like burgers?"
She replied, "No, just don't eat anything, fatty."
Always shouts out something obscene
I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Netflix finally has that classic Canadian footwear documentary:
It's a boot time.