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Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A fish wearing a bowtie is very sofishticated.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Sign language is the least spoken language in the world.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
The devil was arrested the other day on charges of possession.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
The best way to watch a fly fishing tournament is by livestream.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A lazy kangaroo should be called a pouch potato.
How many Filipinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10.
One to take his shirt off and lie down in the hammock. Three to stare at the empty light socket and pout their lips in that general direction.
6 to take the bosses money and head down to the sari sari store for a new bulb.
Who am I kidding, I'll do it myself.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
How much paint does it take to coat a tropical bird house?
Two cans.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his flock through town?
He got ticketed for making an illegal ewe turn.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
The man who invented cough drops recently passed away.
There was no coffin at his funeral.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Dunno why Americans are so opposed to the metric system when 9mm gets used in the schools all the time.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Did you hear the one joke about toilet paper?
It's tearable.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A deceased Finn is definitely Finnished.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
What did the bottom feeders say when the submarine imploded?
Mmmm, Five Guys.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
The only element not on the periodic table is the element of surprise.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I couldn't find my underwear this morning, but it turned up after a brief search.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I ate too many chickpeas and now I don't feel good.
In fact I falafel.
I ate too many chickpeas and now I don't feel good.
In fact I falafel.
Hummus feel better by now...
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Turns out, children can only make minor purchases.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Hummus feel better by now...
Nope, I died.
You're now speaking to me post-hummus-ly.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
When two vegetarians get in a fight, it usually results in a beet down.