Bad Jokes

[Jehannum]

A fish wearing a bowtie is very sofishticated.

 

[Jehannum]

Sign language is the least spoken language in the world.

 

[Jehannum]

The devil was arrested the other day on charges of possession.

 

[Jehannum]

The best way to watch a fly fishing tournament is by livestream.

 

[Jehannum]

A lazy kangaroo should be called a pouch potato.

 

[NukesII]

How many Filipinos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10.
One to take his shirt off and lie down in the hammock. Three to stare at the empty light socket and pout their lips in that general direction.
6 to take the bosses money and head down to the sari sari store for a new bulb.
Who am I kidding, I'll do it myself.

 

[Jehannum]

How much paint does it take to coat a tropical bird house?

Two cans.

 

[Jehannum]

Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his flock through town?

He got ticketed for making an illegal ewe turn.

 

[Jehannum]

The man who invented cough drops recently passed away.

There was no coffin at his funeral.

 

[Jehannum]

Dunno why Americans are so opposed to the metric system when 9mm gets used in the schools all the time.

 

[Jehannum]

Did you hear the one joke about toilet paper?

It's tearable.

 

[Jehannum]

A deceased Finn is definitely Finnished.

 

[Jehannum]

What did the bottom feeders say when the submarine imploded?

Mmmm, Five Guys.

 

[Jehannum]

The only element not on the periodic table is the element of surprise.

 

[Jehannum]

I couldn't find my underwear this morning, but it turned up after a brief search.

 

[Jehannum]

I ate too many chickpeas and now I don't feel good.

In fact I falafel.

 

[NukesII]

I ate too many chickpeas and now I don't feel good.

In fact I falafel.

Hummus feel better by now...

 

[Jehannum]

Turns out, children can only make minor purchases.

 

[Jehannum]

Hummus feel better by now...

Nope, I died.

You're now speaking to me post-hummus-ly.

 

[Jehannum]

When two vegetarians get in a fight, it usually results in a beet down.