Write an adult classified for another forum member

Wink'a'smooch said:
30/F/RNO- Looking for submissive geeks for nerdy pleasure. You must be slightly insane, as I am not 100% right in the head myself. Must be willing to cook, clean, paint my toenails, brush my hair, and tell me how “perfect” I am. You will put up with my insane babble, for most of the time I make no sense. When I make no sense you will nod and agree with me as if you understand. You will accept my flirtatious nature and be understanding of any potential one night stands with women that I may have.
When I am bitchy you will find any excuse why I am bitchy, accept this and understand that I will be a bitch. I reserve the right to bitch as you sit there with a blank stare and take the verbal beating in which I feel you so rightfully deserve. But no worries, this does not occur often.
You must like farts and find them amusing. Absolutely must love RPG, the SCI_FI channel, anything SCI-FI related, Renaissance Fairs, Jousting, Sword fights on a cloudy day, rolling in the mud, and bubble baths with whiz poppers jetting the tub. I want you to be intelligent, over 5’8, dark eyes, dark hair…or no hair with facial hair. You must wear glasses because without you’ll be blind and much better off when you meet me. You must have a serious love for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and any movies by Guillermo del Toro. BOOKS! You MUST love to read, there are no exceptions on this. You will love music, of all kinds.

About my physical self/health: 5’8, blue eyes, and Auburn hair (but this changes often, due to boredom). I am of average build, 147 lbs, my measurements are 37-28-37. I am certifiably insane.

Email me a short description of yourself and send a picture if interested.
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liar, you are no where near a 37 on top. itty bitty booby titty commity
 
SWM seeks internet hotty he can move cross country for. I can hold the key to your heart, and make it's duplicate! Must love pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.
 
SWM, looking for someone else to replace my mother. i generally date crazy chicks, then write long winded stories on the internet about them. must be: insane, able to run my life, and able to break all my CDs. Remember, I lub j00!
 
Wink'a'smooch said:
30/F/RNO- Looking for submissive geeks for nerdy pleasure. You must be slightly insane, as I am not 100% right in the head myself. Must be willing to cook, clean, paint my toenails, brush my hair, and tell me how “perfect” I am. You will put up with my insane babble, for most of the time I make no sense. When I make no sense you will nod and agree with me as if you understand. You will accept my flirtatious nature and be understanding of any potential one night stands with women that I may have.
When I am bitchy you will find any excuse why I am bitchy, accept this and understand that I will be a bitch. I reserve the right to bitch as you sit there with a blank stare and take the verbal beating in which I feel you so rightfully deserve. But no worries, this does not occur often.
You must like farts and find them amusing. Absolutely must love RPG, the SCI_FI channel, anything SCI-FI related, Renaissance Fairs, Jousting, Sword fights on a cloudy day, rolling in the mud, and bubble baths with whiz poppers jetting the tub. I want you to be intelligent, over 5’8, dark eyes, dark hair…or no hair with facial hair. You must wear glasses because without you’ll be blind and much better off when you meet me. You must have a serious love for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and any movies by Guillermo del Toro. BOOKS! You MUST love to read, there are no exceptions on this. You will love music, of all kinds.

About my physical self/health: 5’8, blue eyes, and Auburn hair (but this changes often, due to boredom). I am of average build, 147 lbs, my measurements are 37-28-37. I am certifiably insane.

Email me a short description of yourself and send a picture if interested.
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:drool::bow::hi2u::heart:

I am hoping that between Guillermo del Toro and the smaller amount of material that The Hobbit will be a good film. I'm not so sure about the second film.
 
must have +2 sex skills, boobs of the gargantuan, no venereal curses, no little minions running around, and must enjoy roll playing. bowstaff skills are a plus.
 
Having worked at UPS, I know how to deliver! Must like surveillance systems and refer to them as "Daddy". If you don't mind straddlin' the 'Wendy's Hole' in the floor of my Neon hit me up on Skype. I'm always online and just waiting to hear that sweet voice I know yall have.

I am only available weekday nights.
 
Seeking the Mrs. Smith to my Mr. Actively seeking adventuresome international spy and hitwoman to join my adventures in global destabilization and selective culling based on political policies. Must like hand to hand combat, healthy domestic violence, and heavy weaponry. Must be able to take a hit as well as give one, and drink tequila from a shot glass lodged in your cleavage.

Knowledge of how to field strip an M60, fire a RPG from a moving offroad vehicle, and 52 different points to kill a human being with your bare hands a must.

No fatties.
 
polo said:
Having worked at UPS, I know how to deliver! Must like surveillance systems and refer to them as "Daddy". If you don't mind straddlin' the 'Wendy's Hole' in the floor of my Neon hit me up on Skype. I'm always online and just waiting to hear that sweet voice I know yall have.

I am only available weekday nights.
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thats cute.

extremely shallow med student looking for 'the one' but not interested in marriage. only date foreign chicks so i only have to see them every few months. must be an excellent dresser as i will judge everything you wear, and we must match. must like to talk about me and how great i am and never try to change the subject to yourself. my daddy can support us and my roommates can keep you satisfied sexually while i'm at the union toasting to the hot boys from the rugby team.
 
plot said:
thats cute.

extremely shallow med student looking for 'the one' but not interested in marriage. only date foreign chicks so i only have to see them every few months. must be an excellent dresser as i will judge everything you wear, and we must match. must like to talk about me and how great i am and never try to change the subject to yourself. my daddy can support us and my roommates can keep you satisfied sexually while i'm at the union toasting to the hot boys from the rugby team.
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OMFG BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHA
 
Arátoeldar said:
:drool::bow::hi2u::heart:

I am hoping that between Guillermo del Toro and the smaller amount of material that The Hobbit will be a good film. I'm not so sure about the second film.
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:heart:Let's hope, then again there has been little that Guillermo has done that I didn't like, I was ecstatic to find out he was the director for this film.:D
 
Female seeking male that is either willing to do all the cooking and cleaning or hire it out. You must also be willing to give me back massages and feed me bon bons while I watch my array of sappy chic TV shows all day. You must LOVE lists and be overly excited when I show you my lovingly organized collection (and you cannot make comments about how nothing on them is actually getting done.) Please bring envelopes and paper subscriptions for coupon clipping happiness. Also, must love kids.

I hope I got that all right :fly:.
 
kiwi said:
Female seeking male that is either willing to do all the cooking and cleaning or hire it out. You must also be willing to give me back massages and feed me bon bons while I watch my array of sappy chic TV shows all day. You must LOVE lists and be overly excited when I show you my lovingly organized collection (and you cannot make comments about how nothing on them is actually getting done.) Please bring envelopes and paper subscriptions for coupon clipping happiness. Also, must love kids.

I hope I got that all right :fly:.
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wait. is this you, or me? :iono:
 
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