Hawt The Useless RPG Thread

[Duke]

You successfully cast the spell, but the result is negative. However, your sense of unease continues, and you hear a whispering song, seemingly coming from all places at once within your laboratory.

Hiroki senses he's about to have a visitor apparate into his lab, so he goes to his favorite chair, pours an ale into his dragon horn flagon, and listens to the song, waiting for it to finish, expecting it's completion to mark the entry of the unknown visitor.

Hiroki would like to check for initiative if the visitor doesn't prove to be benevolent.

 

[fly]

thta


that would be amazing

Hold plz

 

[Domon]

yeah the dice rolling thing sucked the fun out of it for me cuz I have no idea

Just basically says if you succeed at your action you want to do. the DM (me) has a number in their head, that you have to roll higher than.

 

[my little brony]

Chipotle von Purplehammer: You are out of weed. You have no funds. Use your knowledge in an unknown city to remedy both.

I will ask locals for directions to the public library or village hall. From there I can get the locations of religious centers and houses of worship. I intend to raid their coffers for the gold I need. In fact this is doing them a favor, perhaps it'll teach them not to put their faith in some invisible sky man. Plus they're tax exempt.

I summon an ethereal fedora and tip it to myself, appreciating my own freethinking euphoria.

 

[Domon]

Hiroki senses he's about to have a visitor apparate into his lab, so he goes to his favorite chair, pours an ale into his dragon horn flagon, and listens to the song, waiting for it to finish, expecting it's completion to mark the entry of the unknown visitor.

Hiroki would like to check for initiative if the visitor doesn't prove to be benevolent.

The visitor is benevolent. It slowly takes the form from the air, of a maiden, drenched and drowned looking. Shivering, and teeth chattering. She can barely speak she is so cold.

 

[my little brony]

No fair, he's just gonna peddle his ass to some married but bored royal couple.

I, sir, am no common hussy!

although that is a good idea

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Just basically says if you succeed at your action you want to do. the DM (me) has a number in their head, that you have to roll higher than.

I know what the fuck you meant, the how is where Im lacking here

 

[Duke]

I, sir, am no common hussy!

although that is a good idea

Whether it's Heidi Fleiss at the top of her game, or Trixie the methhead working her hustle behind the 7-11, a whore's a whore.

 

[Jehannum]

The visitor is benevolent. It slowly takes the form from the air, of a maiden, drenched and drowned looking. Shivering, and teeth chattering. She can barely speak she is so cold.

@Duke rolls for viagra and says "want to warm something up?"

 

[my little brony]

yeah the dice rolling thing sucked the fun out of it for me cuz I have no idea

newer versions of the game have simplified it a lot

THAC0 was infuriatingly backwards

 

[Duke]

@Duke rolls for viagra and says "want to warm something up?"

You don't speak for me, bitch.

 

[Jehannum]

You don't speak for me, bitch.

It's what you were going to do.

 

[my little brony]

I know what the fuck you meant, the how is where Im lacking here

looks like @fly is building a dice rolling mod into the forum but until then just go here and hit roll on that orange d20 toward the bottom

https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm

 

[Domon]

I will ask locals for directions to the public library or village hall. From there I can get the locations of religious centers and houses of worship. I intend to raid their coffers for the gold I need. In fact this is doing them a favor, perhaps it'll teach them not to put their faith in some invisible sky man. Plus they're tax exempt.

I summon an ethereal fedora and tip it to myself, appreciating my own freethinking euphoria.

Roll 3 D6's, the churches are naive and ill guarded. For each roll greater than 4, you will receive 3 silver.

 

[Valve1138]

I rolled a 7. What do I win.

 

[Valve1138]

Roll 3 D6's, the churches are naive and ill guarded. For each roll greater than 4, you will receive 3 silver.

5+2+6

gimme silver

 

[Domon]

It's what you were going to do.

i think the fire mage can think of something more productive.

 

[Domon]

I rolled a 7. What do I win.

You accidentally trip over your own feet, and knock Eloyn Larkspur over. Breaking her favorite lockpick, and reducing her chances of successful pick by 2 next encounter.

 

[Domon]

5+2+6

gimme silver

you're not the weed loving douchehammer, you dont get to roll for him

 

[Valve1138]

You accidentally trip over your own feet, and knock Eloyn Larkspur over. Breaking her favorite lockpick, and reducing her chances of successful pick by 2 next encounter.

I was promised Silver. You're no better than @fly