Hawt The Useless RPG Thread

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Purvis the Worstest: You wake up drunk in a gutter, surrounded by cutthroats and thieves, trying to turn you over and rob you. Your staff lies beneath you, and the lead bandit, distracted by a young man wearing a codpiece, with dashing blonde hair passing by, kicks you, and mutters "lets just kill him". Defend yourself.

MOTHER FUKERRRRRRRSSSS!!!1
OH NOW LOOK WHAT YOU *BEELLLCHHH* MADE ME DO
ALL YOUR HEADS ARE OFF
...all your heads are off?
Well...fuck...
Fuck...
*shrug* Ok, lets see what you had in your *BELLLCHH* pockets then...

 

[Duke]

Chipotle von Purplehammer: You are out of weed. You have no funds. Use your knowledge in an unknown city to remedy both.

No fair, he's just gonna peddle his ass to some married but bored royal couple.

 

[APRIL]

Hey @Maureen, bring your character in here.... you NERRRRRRD.

 

[Domon]

After not seeing an expected raven tap tap tapping on his laboratory door, Hiroki takes the next obvious option and casts See Invisibility.

Roll for success, d20: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm +6 for arcane knowledge

 

[adi]

Roll a d20 for lore to determine if you know what the key is to: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm

got 20 (?)

 

[Duke]

Roll for success, d20: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm +6 for arcane knowledge

Roll(1d20)+6:
9,+6
Total:15

NOTES
-------------------------
This field records your latest roll at its top.

Modified results that would produce a number less than one display as one.

 

[Domon]

MOTHER FUKERRRRRRRSSSS!!!1
OH NOW LOOK WHAT YOU *BEELLLCHHH* MADE ME DO
ALL YOUR HEADS ARE OFF
...all your heads are off?
Well...fuck...
Fuck...
*shrug* Ok, lets see what you had in your *BELLLCHH* pockets then...

roll for initiative. There are three thieves. you take a -3 penalty for being drunk.

 

[Strings]

You await Freon's arrival, while entertaining the locals. The mistress of the brothel informs you your hour is up, and you must pay an additional 10 silver to remain. You have no funds.

I begin my shift washing goblets and changing soiled linen.

 

[adi]

Roll(1d20)+0:
13,+0
Total:13

Roll(1d20)+0:
20,+0
Total:20

NOTES
-------------------------
This field records yo

 

[Domon]

got 20 (?)

You know exactly what the key is for, since the bar wench gave it to you to sneak in later after the proprietor went to bed, and showed you the door. You sneak in, with Pork of the Loin, and launch your plan to put the place to sleep. Awaiting a roll from pork of the loin for success.

 

[Domon]

Roll(1d20)+6:
9,+6
Total:15

NOTES
-------------------------
This field records your latest roll at its top.

Modified results that would produce a number less than one display as one.

You successfully cast the spell, but the result is negative. However, your sense of unease continues, and you hear a whispering song, seemingly coming from all places at once within your laboratory.

 

[Domon]

I begin my shift washing goblets and changing soiled linen.

you will earn 10 silver on the 150th post on this page.

 

[adi]

You know exactly what the key is for, since the bar wench gave it to you to sneak in later after the proprietor went to bed, and showed you the door. You sneak in, with Pork of the Loin, and launch your plan to put the place to sleep. Awaiting a roll from pork of the loin for success.

..ya i got the 'erbs

 

[fly]

Roll a d20 for lore to determine if you know what the key is to: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm

Would you like me to add a dice mod?

 

[august]

the last time I did this shit, I was a horny tween/teen hanging out in AOL RP chat rooms (Rhydin) looking to cyber

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

yeah the dice rolling thing sucked the fun out of it for me cuz I have no idea

 

[Strings]

you will earn 10 silver on the 150th post on this page.

Blimey! Slave labor that is.

 

[Strings]

You know exactly what the key is for, since the bar wench gave it to you to sneak in later after the proprietor went to bed, and showed you the door. You sneak in, with Pork of the Loin, and launch your plan to put the place to sleep. Awaiting a roll from pork of the loin for success.

I stand in place, slack jawed and drooling at the sight of the passed out bar wench's breasts.

 

[Domon]

thta

Would you like me to add a dice mod?

that would be amazing

 

[adi]

I stand in place, slack jawed and drooling at the sight of the passed out bar wench's breasts.

Focus baba