Hawt The Useless RPG Thread
- Thread starter Domon
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The hooded man says:
" all have you have been deemed worthy, and brought here today for a singular purpose. But first, you must prove your trustworthiness, and worth, for the gods are often not to be trusted. Thus, a contest!"
" all have you have been deemed worthy, and brought here today for a singular purpose. But first, you must prove your trustworthiness, and worth, for the gods are often not to be trusted. Thus, a contest!"
Freon Gayjoy: A companion awaits you at the local brothel, but the mistress of the house has banned you from its premises for repeated and flagrant abuses. You must retrieve your companion, by subterfuge, charisma, skullduggery, or any method of your choosing. The brothel is 3 stories tall, guarded by a staff of surley orcs, once of which you attempted to bugger in the past, and your companion is locked on the highest floor.
Eloyn Larkspur: A race is to be won! The city has recently announced the finding of a rare artifact, housed within the tower of Arbaghast. The tower s locked, and none have been able to enter, however there are cryptic runes, referencing a plague, spread by swine coming in days if the tower is not conquered.
I shall run interference for Freon Gayjoy by entering ye olde brothel and making a drunken spectacle of thyself and setting fire to ye olde public chamber pot.
Sir Pork of Loin and Baba: Your honor has been insulted. The local tavern posted a scathing review of your latest performance, and insulted Rush. They kicked you out before you could even retrieve your gear, except your trusty bass. Retrieve your gear, and restore your reputation!
Purvis the Worstest: You wake up drunk in a gutter, surrounded by cutthroats and thieves, trying to turn you over and rob you. Your staff lies beneath you, and the lead bandit, distracted by a young man wearing a codpiece, with dashing blonde hair passing by, kicks you, and mutters "lets just kill him". Defend yourself.
Hiroki Garcia: You are studying the latest methods of fiery explosions in your study, when a rap comes on the window.... but you are on the 10th story.. how! You go to the window, and see nothing, darkness envelops the night, but you have a general sense of unease, and a chill. Investigate!
Chipotle von Purplehammer, halfling wizard with a velvet jumpsuit and a bad fauxhawk. Skills include knowledge of arcana, history, religion, and office 2003.
I left home seeking fame, glory, and the best marijuana in the realms. It's for my back.
I left home seeking fame, glory, and the best marijuana in the realms. It's for my back.
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You await Freon's arrival, while entertaining the locals. The mistress of the brothel informs you your hour is up, and you must pay an additional 10 silver to remain. You have no funds.
Adi and I burn 50lbs of the sleepy willow weed into the airducts. After all have fallen under its spell, we enter and retrieve our gear.
On the way out, Adi smacks the inn keeper upside his head with his magic bass.
I pinch the bar wench's ass.
Roll a d20 for success: https://www.wizards.com/dnd/dice/dice.htm +3 for alchemic and herb knowledge.
After not seeing an expected raven tap tap tapping on his laboratory door, Hiroki takes the next obvious option and casts See Invisibility.
Wow Domon, you're uh... pretty good at this.
Robots... I swear.
Robots... I swear.