WTF So I just dick'd my butt

[nukes]

It's a dangerous game trying to one-up an edgy joke.

Sometimes I'm the master and he's the disciple.
Sometimes I'm the pirate Captain and he's...
Nevermind.

 

[wetwillie]

Maggie will save him.

Who will save her? She's not Betty White.

 

[nukes]

Who will save her? She's not Betty White.

Accounting for dog years?? Maggie might beat Betty White.

 

[wetwillie]

Accounting for dog years?? Maggie might beat Betty White.

Touche'

 

[Immigrant]

Yeah, sorry for my idea of what is an appropriate descriptive becoming the kindling for that fire. I think my brain insisted I include their nationality, as I perceived it, in case that’s customary behavior for folks I don’t fully understand.

 

[nukes]

Yeah, sorry for my idea of what is an appropriate descriptive becoming the kindling for that fire. I think my brain insisted I include their nationality, as I perceived it, in case that’s customary behavior for folks I don’t fully understand.

I would've set you up with my fat Jewish mother.

 

[Immigrant]

I admit, watching them slather that shit on each other was reminiscent of stumbling across that nest of baby snakes when I was a kid.

 

[nukes]

Just got my Instacart starter kit. My first order is for a couple on a small farm in Maryland.
Wish me luck!
I'll be wearing gloves during work, if for nothing else to insure big tips.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Just got my Instacart starter kit. My first order is for a couple on a small farm in Maryland.
Wish me luck!
I'll be wearing gloves during work, if for nothing else to insure big tips.

 

[Jehannum]

Just got my Instacart starter kit. My first order is for a couple on a small farm in Maryland.
Wish me luck!
I'll be wearing gloves during work, if for nothing else to insure big tips.

Remember to cup the balls and work the shaft.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

also, nukes, swing by and bring me some more beers
please and thank you

 

[nukes]

I think I can build up a private clientele on Instacart with a burner phone.
Dipshits that work apps then go off app and drive around using the same phone to serve clients they poached get de-activated.

 

[strawberry love]

Just got my Instacart starter kit. My first order is for a couple on a small farm in Maryland.
Wish me luck!
I'll be wearing gloves during work, if for nothing else to insure big tips.

Stay safe out there!

 

[nukes]

Completed first Instacart order. It's difficult because many things are out of stock. Customer wasn't home.
Plus, did it all in mask and gloves.
Very kinky.

 

[Strings]

Completed first Instacart order. It's difficult because many things are out of stock. Customer wasn't home.
Plus, did it all in mask and gloves.
Very kinky.

Be careful. Really. You don't know what someone might do if they see you walking around, looking lost with a box full of hard to get groceries.

 

[Valve1138]

 

[nukes]

Be careful. Really. You don't know what someone might do if they see you walking around, looking lost with a box full of hard to get groceries.

23 years in a cab as a rolling ATM.
But yeah, I didn't leave the cab very often.
Instacart let's you pick and choose the jobs from a batch list.
Tells you how far the market is, the delivery address.

 

[nukes]

You didn't tip.

 

[Strings]

Gonna be hard to make an ID since everyone is wearing a mask now.

 

[nukes]

Gonna be hard to make an ID since everyone is wearing a mask now.

Not necessary.
I have this lovely green Instacart ID I wear around my neck.