FYI Pewp in this thread when you're pewpin

Immigrant

full of tales of hot tail
Apr 26, 2016
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After one of my releases from the hospital not long ago, I had to break one apart for the first time of my life.

I was sitting on the throne and flushed, and it made that sound that it was filling with water but nothing was sinking, nor going down the curve. Uh oh. Being a water miser model, I knew it wouldn’t overflow. Whew!

So I waited a few minutes to give the water time to soften it some, and tried again. Same sound. Uh oh. I realized that a couple months ago, I had trouble locating a wire hanger anywhere in the house and asking my son to find one was going to be like asking him to find a unicorn (he’s easily annoyed at any task that requires thinking outside the box at all) but I asked anyway.

I’ll be damned, he found a wire hanger. Then I asked him to grab me some pliers and described where to get them. My son, I love him more than life itself, but he knows shit about tools. He returned with a pair of pliers suitable for fixing a pair of glasses or a pocket watch, not bending a wire ass hanger. He comes back with appropriate pliers after a good mocking.

By then, I already had the twist undone and mostly bent right and I shoved that fucker right through the sludgy density that impacted the bend and flushed again. Success!

What the fuck. That’s the one and only time I’ve ever had to do that, and I’m glad it’s never happened before. I DID have to pry a turd the size of a cue ball out of my asshole once, with both ankles in casts while on my knees and drop it into the bowl, bare fingered. So gross.

I feel for you guys that have to cut em up regularly the type that has a machete hanging next to the TP roll holder.
 

Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
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What the fuck. That’s the one and only time I’ve ever had to do that, and I’m glad it’s never happened before. I DID have to pry a turd the size of a cue ball out of my asshole once, with both ankles in casts while on my knees and drop it into the bowl, bare fingered. So gross.
Fuckin' opiate poos, I tell you what.
 

Immigrant

full of tales of hot tail
Apr 26, 2016
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I’ve mentioned the frozen food factory poo incidents here before but I have a still shot in my brain of the “janitor” in my head. The guy was so black he was purple, wore sunglasses all the time even though he was 3rd shift, standing there holding a giant knife swearing about having to cut up the object (couldn’t come up with a better descriptive right now) so he could get rid of it.

First incident- at least 16” long and about 5” in diameter, sticking straight up but had swirled around the rim a few time during a flush attempt.

Second incident- Youth sized football.
 

HipHugHer

Looks like Ted Nugent, Smells like Sasquatch
Apr 18, 2016
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I still say this thread is mental masturbation without evidence photos.
Any LARPer can claim an achievement. Doesn't mean it happened.
 

Immigrant

full of tales of hot tail
Apr 26, 2016
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It was different when weren’t all carrying cameras in our phones because nobody was carrying phones, and how weird would that have been to be walking around with an Instamatic that took 110 cartridges especially at work? The only way to get away doing that in Nebraska in the mid-to-late 1970s was to be Vietnamese and even then, the safety lady isn’t going to let you carry a camera.

Those dudes had a thing for Trans Ams and cameras.
 

Mean Mr. Mustard

Always shouts out something obscene
Sep 30, 2004
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