After one of my releases from the hospital not long ago, I had to break one apart for the first time of my life.
I was sitting on the throne and flushed, and it made that sound that it was filling with water but nothing was sinking, nor going down the curve. Uh oh. Being a water miser model, I knew it wouldn’t overflow. Whew!
So I waited a few minutes to give the water time to soften it some, and tried again. Same sound. Uh oh. I realized that a couple months ago, I had trouble locating a wire hanger anywhere in the house and asking my son to find one was going to be like asking him to find a unicorn (he’s easily annoyed at any task that requires thinking outside the box at all) but I asked anyway.
I’ll be damned, he found a wire hanger. Then I asked him to grab me some pliers and described where to get them. My son, I love him more than life itself, but he knows shit about tools. He returned with a pair of pliers suitable for fixing a pair of glasses or a pocket watch, not bending a wire ass hanger. He comes back with appropriate pliers after a good mocking.
By then, I already had the twist undone and mostly bent right and I shoved that fucker right through the sludgy density that impacted the bend and flushed again. Success!
What the fuck. That’s the one and only time I’ve ever had to do that, and I’m glad it’s never happened before. I DID have to pry a turd the size of a cue ball out of my asshole once, with both ankles in casts while on my knees and drop it into the bowl, bare fingered. So gross.
I feel for you guys that have to cut em up regularly the type that has a machete hanging next to the TP roll holder.