Yes but unless you've killed all natural impulses that there is something, just a tiny feeling, that raising a set of entirely foreign genetics is disconcerting.If you knew this person, you'd judge them too.
Yes but unless you've killed all natural impulses that there is something, just a tiny feeling, that raising a set of entirely foreign genetics is disconcerting.If you knew this person, you'd judge them too.
Adoptive parents do it all the time.
It obviously does not suck for him or else he wouldn't have married her.
right....but they sign up for that shit
Why not?
Selfish much?
the difference is the heart plays a role. he could've fallen in love for her despite it....not because of that.So does someone marrying someone who already has a kid
As someone who doesn't want to have kids, why is it any more selfish?
Seriously I get the reasoning. Some people don't want to adopt because they aren't sure they have it in them to be with a child who isn't biologically their own. Ran into that talking with infertility groups. Personally I think it is wise to admit it before getting into a situation where a child will suffer.
So those who married and already had children by another person should just be happy they didn't meet someone like that, get married and then have the whole household get fucked over for their inadequacies. It's not a popular opinion for sure, but it isn't one people should get pissed off over if they aren't dealing with it personally.
the difference is the heart plays a role. he could've fallen in love for her despite it....not because of that.
absolutely notWould you buy a car with a salvage title?
Depends on your viewpoint. I may be selfish for not wanting kids or I may be selfless for recognizing this and not putting an innocent life in my irresponsible hands.
A person doesn't want to adopt because they aren't sure they have it in them to raise a child that is not biologically theirs? That is either a cop-out or just ignorance. How can a person say they would not love a child they are responsible for? Are people really that cruel?
you can't tell your heart not to love someone........ a few dates in and he could've already been sold that she was for him (regardless of her past children). i don't know personally.... i just know that i couldn't imagine raising a child that is not mine.The kid is part of her. You would probably know about it long before you fell in love. Therefore if you continue to choose a relationship after knowing someone has a kid, you're signing up for the possibility
Depends on your viewpoint. I may be selfish for not wanting kids or I may be selfless for recognizing this and not putting an innocent life in my irresponsible hands.
A person doesn't want to adopt because they aren't sure they have it in them to raise a child that is not biologically theirs? That is either a cop-out or just ignorance. How can a person say they would not love a child they are responsible for? Are people really that cruel?
Would you buy a car with a salvage title?
Some people want kids, some people don't. Some people don't mind being in a relationship with someone who already has kids and some obviously do. It's wrong to rip on someone who has made the decision that they are not capable or willing to be a parent and therefore do not want kids just as it was wrong to insult @123 or to imply somehow he got the raw end of a deal because he chose to marry someone with children from a previous relationship.
Some people want kids, some people don't. Some people don't mind being in a relationship with someone who already has kids and some obviously do. It's wrong to rip on someone who has made the decision that they are not capable or willing to be a parent and therefore do not want kids just as it was wrong to insult @123 or to imply somehow he got the raw end of a deal because he chose to marry someone with children from a previous relationship.
Yes but you cannot force others to make the same choices as you, this is why we are all individual.I guess I understand sort of... but I'll admit, I let my emotions about this person and their selfish ways (more than just their viewpoint on adoption) cloud my judgement.
It's like the animal shelters, I get all bent out of shape when people don't adopt and rather purchase from a breeder. It breaks my heart that there are animals left in cages dying or in the human sense, kids growing up in abusive foster homes until they age out. Its sad either way and wish we did more of our part to help these kids, that's what community is about right?
If I were to ever want kids (like my mom says I will once I hit 30... welp, I hit it a year ago), I'd be all for adopting. That's just my opinion on how my life should be-- while there are still animals in cages and kids in foster care, I'd rather help them first.