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Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Giraffes can never apologize, because it takes so long to swallow their pride.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I think yeast will someday rule the world.
I just foresee it rising up.
Stuck with this Shitty Title
A father asks his child, "Hey, Son, if a Dog and a Piecost had a race, who would win?
The boy puzzles for a moment, then asks "What's a Piecost?"
The father giggles and says "Oh about four or five dollars".
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Never take a calculus test when you're sitting next to two identical twins.
It's very hard to differentiate between them.
Always shouts out something obscene
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
The difference between in-laws and outlaws are that outlaws are wanted.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Hey check it out everybody, it's Eel on Musk.
fly gave me a handjob for marklar
Always shouts out something obscene
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Told Jason this morning he needed to do more chores around the house.
He asked if I could change the subject, so I replied, "OK, more chores around the house need to be done by you".
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Books on oil are in the non-friction section of the library.
Stuck with this Shitty Title
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Aquaman backed into my car several times yesterday. He left a trident.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A kidnapper's favorite shoes are white vans.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A perfectionist walked in to a bar, apparently it wasn't set high enough.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
My whole life I thought Chewbacca was an Ewok.
What a wookiee mistake.
Always shouts out something obscene
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Three men were in a boat, and each had a cigarette, but no way to light it.
So one man threw his overboard, and the whole boat was one cigarette lighter.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Louise told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
If you get lost in the Canadian wilderness, don't panic until after you've seen more than one grizzly bear.
That's the bear minimum.