Bad Jokes
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Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
An ancient Greek walked into the tailor with torn pants.
He puts them on the counter of the store and the tailor looks at them.
The tailor said, "Euripedes?"
The Greek said, "Yes. Eumenides?"
He puts them on the counter of the store and the tailor looks at them.
The tailor said, "Euripedes?"
The Greek said, "Yes. Eumenides?"
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
You really shouldn't run with bagpipes.
You could poke an aye out.
You could even get kilt.
You could poke an aye out.
You could even get kilt.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I made a voodoo doll of myself so that when I'm in public, my wife can scratch my butt without being disgusting.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
The plane took off.
However, while attempting to cross some very high mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and it went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"
Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.
The plane took off.
However, while attempting to cross some very high mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and it went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"
Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
So a local businessman here passed away recently. Rich old bastard who hated his family, spent all his money on toys for himself while the rest of his family lived in near poverty.
In his will, he stated that he wanted a glass coffin made for himself, with the money taken from the small amount of money set aside for his family. Of course, building a coffin out of glass is a harder job than it sounds - you need to find suitably thick glass, cut it into a bunch of shapes, attach it all together, attach the handles... getting all of this ready on short notice cost a hell of a lot of money, and it quickly became apparent that the family wasn't going to be inheriting anything because all of the money was going to be spent on this ridiculous coffin.
So they went to court and challenged the will, and pleaded their case before the judge. Fuck the coffin they said, they need this inheritance to do more important things like fix the roof on their house. Give him a plain wood coffin, he doesn't need this elaborate thing, it's a waste of money. Plus he's dead, he doesn't care.
The verdict: remains to be seen.
In his will, he stated that he wanted a glass coffin made for himself, with the money taken from the small amount of money set aside for his family. Of course, building a coffin out of glass is a harder job than it sounds - you need to find suitably thick glass, cut it into a bunch of shapes, attach it all together, attach the handles... getting all of this ready on short notice cost a hell of a lot of money, and it quickly became apparent that the family wasn't going to be inheriting anything because all of the money was going to be spent on this ridiculous coffin.
So they went to court and challenged the will, and pleaded their case before the judge. Fuck the coffin they said, they need this inheritance to do more important things like fix the roof on their house. Give him a plain wood coffin, he doesn't need this elaborate thing, it's a waste of money. Plus he's dead, he doesn't care.
The verdict: remains to be seen.
Two black friends are going for a walk when they see a sign that says: "Become white for just $4!". But as it turns out, one of them only has $3 in his pockets and the other one has a $5 bill. So they agree that the one with the $5 bill goes first and then gives the change to his friend so he can become white as well.
First guy goes in and miraculously, he comes out as a white version of himself a few minutes later. His friend asks him: "now give me that dollar, so I can go too!". To which the white guy responds: "Get a job, n-----r!".
First guy goes in and miraculously, he comes out as a white version of himself a few minutes later. His friend asks him: "now give me that dollar, so I can go too!". To which the white guy responds: "Get a job, n-----r!".
I was on my longest streak