I have some dead batteries to give away.
Free of charge.
Free of charge.
Bad Jokes
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So we put some fertilizer on the vegetable garden.
AND THE PLOT THICKENED
AND THE PLOT THICKENED
why did the mostly blind man fall down a well?
because he couldn't see that well
daaahaaaaa
because he couldn't see that well
daaahaaaaa
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Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
A gorilla at the zoo dies...right before the zoo opens. The gorilla is their most popular attraction by far, and they cannot afford to go a day without it. So the zoo owner asks one of his workers to wear a gorilla suit they have in storage. For an extra $100 a day he will go in the gorilla cage and pretend to be the gorilla until the zoo can afford a new one.
Quickly, the new "gorilla" becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the "Human-like" gorilla. About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lions den. The man starts screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!" Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, "Shut the fuck up or you're going to get us both fired."
Quickly, the new "gorilla" becomes the most popular craze at the zoo. People from all over are coming to see the "Human-like" gorilla. About a month in, the craze has started to wear off. So, to get peoples attention back, he decides to climb over his enclosure and hang from the net ceiling above the lions den next to him. A large crowd of people gather watching the spectacle in awe and terror. Suddenly the man loses his grip and falls to the floor of the lions den. The man starts screaming "HELP!! HELP!!!" Suddenly a lion pounces him from behind and whispers in his ear, "Shut the fuck up or you're going to get us both fired."
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
I went out earlier to buy a microphone and some cherries.
BOUGHT A BOOM
BOUGHT A BING
BOUGHT A BOOM
BOUGHT A BING
I walked past David's Tea earlier at the mall.
What's so great about that place? the prices are kinda steep.
What's so great about that place? the prices are kinda steep.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.
Why don't pirates like driving sports cars on windy mountain roads?
s'curvy
s'curvy
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
I think my optometrist drinks during office hours. Last time I was there he fell into his lense grinder and made a spectacle of himself.
The chef at my favorite italian restaurant had a drinking problem too, he would down a couple bottles orzo of wine on each shift.
He got fired, and pasta way recently. They found him in an alley in the ziti. They said he died penneless.
He got fired, and pasta way recently. They found him in an alley in the ziti. They said he died penneless.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
Because he couldn't see that well.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
You can't have 12 or 16 oz. Prime Ribs, they must be 13 or 17 oz. to be Prime.