Bad Jokes

Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
43,318
44,470
723
41
Albuquerque, NM
Told the boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me.

He asked which 3, so I told him, "Gas, electric, and water".
 

Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
43,318
44,470
723
41
Albuquerque, NM
Called the Animal Humane Society today after a walk in the bosque. I'd found a suitcase with 4 kittens in it.

They asked, "Are they moving?"

I said, "I don't know, but it would explain the suitcase if they were".
 

Strings

Stuck with this Shitty Title
Apr 18, 2016
31,733
63,571
1,223
I amputated a man's toe and replaced it with a breath mint.

I gave him a tic tac toe.
My grandfather lost all his toes on one foot during the war.
But he got around just fine. Didn't want any special treatment. To prove his point, he entered a marathon. He photo finished a close second behind the winner. The pictures showed him losing by half a foot.
 

gee

Blame It On The Gassa Nova
Sep 29, 2012
16,268
18,080
373
Halifax
I didn't know this, but Wayne's World is still really popular in Iran for some reason.

Mike Myers and Dana Carvey recently flew over there to give a public appearance, on the Shah's own airline.

SHAH WING!
 

Strings

Stuck with this Shitty Title
Apr 18, 2016
31,733
63,571
1,223
Bad pick up lines.

I ... I just don't want to be alone tonight.

Though I do want to be alone tomorrow morning when I wake up.
If you know what I mean.