Bad Jokes

[Strings]

They do go down under.

 

[Jehannum]

 

[tre]

 

[ZRH]

 

[Jehannum]

As a bald man, I really look forward to the summer.

It's my time to shine.

 

[Jehannum]

Papaya is the father of all fruits.

 

[Jehannum]

Someone keeps sending me flowers with the blooms cut off.

I'm being stalked.

 

[Jehannum]

How do snails fight?

They slug it out.

 

[Jehannum]

Told the boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me.

He asked which 3, so I told him, "Gas, electric, and water".

 

[Jehannum]

Before being executed by electric chair, the inmate said, "I would be shocked if this didn't work".

 

[Jehannum]

I amputated a man's toe and replaced it with a breath mint.

I gave him a tic tac toe.

 

[Jehannum]

Called the Animal Humane Society today after a walk in the bosque. I'd found a suitcase with 4 kittens in it.

They asked, "Are they moving?"

I said, "I don't know, but it would explain the suitcase if they were".

 

[Jehannum]

What's invisible and smells like fish?

Penguin farts.

 

[Strings]

I amputated a man's toe and replaced it with a breath mint.

I gave him a tic tac toe.

My grandfather lost all his toes on one foot during the war.
But he got around just fine. Didn't want any special treatment. To prove his point, he entered a marathon. He photo finished a close second behind the winner. The pictures showed him losing by half a foot.

 

[gee]

I didn't know this, but Wayne's World is still really popular in Iran for some reason.

Mike Myers and Dana Carvey recently flew over there to give a public appearance, on the Shah's own airline.

SHAH WING!

 

[Jehannum]

My inflatable house got a puncture last night.

Now I'm living in a flat.

 

[Jehannum]

Went to the Wikipedia page on whales but it was blank, save for a footnote that said, "Cetacean needed".

 

[Jehannum]

When I was a poor college cannibal, all I could afford to eat was raw-men noodles.

 

[Jehannum]

In the US, we eat alphabet soup.

In Japan, they eat ramen numerals.

 

[Strings]

Bad pick up lines.

I ... I just don't want to be alone tonight.

Though I do want to be alone tomorrow morning when I wake up.
If you know what I mean.