Bad Jokes

Domon

enjoys a good porkin'
May 19, 2011
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as a scale of size, thats a battery terminal cleaner, its 3/4s of an inch across and 1 inch deep.
 

Jehannum

Eats bananas with the peel still on
Jul 24, 2013
35,613
36,738
723
Albuquerque, NM
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₥84,231.16
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A friend of mine and I were at a bar last weekend, when some mean looking biker dudes came up and said, "This is our table, go away".
He whispered to me, "just pretend we're the police".
I thought that was a great idea, and made it almost to the refrain of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" before I got punched in the mouth.
 

Strings

Stuck with this Shitty Title
Apr 18, 2016
27,810
58,631
1,173
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A friend of mine and I were at a bar last weekend, when some mean looking biker dudes came up and said, "This is our table, go away".
He whispered to me, "just pretend we're the police".
I thought that was a great idea, and made it almost to the refrain of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" before I got punched in the mouth.
Careful, J. We can't stand losing you.
 

HipHugHer

Looks like Ted Nugent, Smells like Sasquatch
Apr 18, 2016
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Finally got to meet a real 5-star chef this weekend. This guy had done everything from restaurants that require reservations months in advance to catering for heads of state and he was still upset with his work so I asked him why and he said, "because everything I do turns to shit".
 

Jehannum

Eats bananas with the peel still on
Jul 24, 2013
35,613
36,738
723
Albuquerque, NM
Marklar
₥84,231.16
Marklar
M84,231
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

The bartender says, "What an interesting pet. What is his name?"

The man replies, "Tiny".

The bartender says, "what an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?"

The man replies, "Because he is my newt."