Bad Jokes

A friend of mine and I were at a bar last weekend, when some mean looking biker dudes came up and said, "This is our table, go away".
He whispered to me, "just pretend we're the police".
I thought that was a great idea, and made it almost to the refrain of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" before I got punched in the mouth.
 
A friend of mine and I were at a bar last weekend, when some mean looking biker dudes came up and said, "This is our table, go away".
He whispered to me, "just pretend we're the police".
I thought that was a great idea, and made it almost to the refrain of "Don't Stand So Close To Me" before I got punched in the mouth.

Careful, J. We can't stand losing you.
 
Finally got to meet a real 5-star chef this weekend. This guy had done everything from restaurants that require reservations months in advance to catering for heads of state and he was still upset with his work so I asked him why and he said, "because everything I do turns to shit".