Ontopic Health Thread: post your AIDS, diseases and infekshunz here.
- Thread starter Petunia
- Start date
So is the home crapper.
Obviously sedation drugs act the same way on bowels as the knockout drug do. Bricks.
Fun fact
After one of my surgeries, I found myself on my knees in front of my toilet, with a cast on my lower leg, prying a turd out that was stuck at the rim of my butthole. Had to use forefinger and thumb.
It was like a cue ball on a turd pool table,
Obviously sedation drugs act the same way on bowels as the knockout drug do. Bricks.
Fun fact
After one of my surgeries, I found myself on my knees in front of my toilet, with a cast on my lower leg, prying a turd out that was stuck at the rim of my butthole. Had to use forefinger and thumb.
It was like a cue ball on a turd pool table,
While I was at the hospital, I think I got 5 hours of sleep in 4 days. I slept about 4 total last night, if that.
Prednisone is a hell of a drug.
I’m Batman now
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Those post-opiate shits are the wooooorst.
Felt like trying to shit a bowling ball that had been frosted in broken glass.
My first stay (along with four surgeries) in the trauma unit lasted 11 days and the doc wouldn’t release me until I pooped. I had never pooped in front of anyone before, so there was shyness and pride combined with the physical constipation. I told the doc I was farting okay and he said “You can fart between bricks, I don’t care.”
One day I got desperate and had learned how to transfer from bed to wheelchair at that point, so I figured I could also make it from the wheelchair to the crapper. Man, I wanted the fuck out of there. That dump hurt worse than the injuries.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Yep, that was me too. After stacking my guts on top of my chest for 4 hours to get the tumor-ridden lymph nodes off my aorta and kidneys, they made me stay in the hospital until they "regained motility" (aka, I had a shit). That was difficult, given they wouldn't let me eat any solid food until that happened either. After 5 days, I finally made it happen.
Yeah that happened to me after my emergency appendectomy. Was in the hospital for 2.5 days in recovery, 15 bags of IV antibiotics. Still had the massive 103F fever which is why I couldn't sleep. Had to learn how to eat again. Like 5 cherrios was a filling meal. I was farting up a storm too as the surgeon uses CO2 gas to blow out literal shit in my peritoneum after removing the broken appendix and closing up the intestine during the surgery. I have 3 small scars, one through the belly button, one about an inch above it, and one to the right a couple of inches. Someone referred to them as the bowling ball incision.
I should count my scars sometime. I’m sure it’s well over 40, including only surgery/medical type scars.
I also have about 3 dozen small dot scars, about 1/4” in diameter all over my body from biopsies but they only appear after a hot shower. They look like a connect the dot thing.
I’m a goddamned freak.
I also have about 3 dozen small dot scars, about 1/4” in diameter all over my body from biopsies but they only appear after a hot shower. They look like a connect the dot thing.
I’m a goddamned freak.
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
You sound like a medical miracle in the way that you're practically bionic.
I keep telling my boss that
Hes had both hips, both knees, and a big fucking toe replaced with metal parts
Told him when he croaks hes goin in the recycle bin