Shared this before, but this is my "oh crap" story.
My mother in law is not what you would call "petite". She took these pills because she thought they'd help her lose weight, but she wouldn't alter her diet to eliminate the side effects (Alli half works to block digestion of fat, half works as a behavior modification therapy, 'cause shitting yourself is no fun). She was living with us at the time, because the wife was still working, and the fuck trophies needed cheap daycare.
So, she threw the Alli out one night, and I thought, "hey, let's see what it does, I mean it's OTC after all...". So, I took a dose.
We had tacos that night, and things seemed relatively OK until around 7 the next morning. Instead of a morning shit, I had a morning mudslide. It wasn't normal. This was like the cold grease you find left in pizza boxes the next day. Wiping was more like smearing vaseline on a window - you can push it around, but it's not coming off. I finally just douched in the shower, swore myself off trying any more expensive OTC medication, and got ready for work - in my khaki pants.
At work, we were writing a report for release and were in a review process (then called "Azkaban") where the colonel would go line by line through the report to make sure it said what he wanted it to say. So, I was sitting in the conference room, running numbers when I felt a little squirt. I'd sprung a leak! Instead of finishing my sections on mean time between unscheduled maintenance, mean time between failures, and mean time to repair, I covered the seat in my car with my car cover, drove home, and spent the rest of the afternoon wishing I could give myself a fucking purple-power degreaser enema.