GAY Post your "oh crap, i might be in trouble" stories.

First day on my new road bike. I'm doing ~30kmh and I'm going on tram lines.

Front wheel got inside the track, I got airborn. First thing I though was "oh crap, I'm going head first, I'm either going to die or become paralised".

I fell to the opposing lane. Broke a wrist, bruised my face, cracked a helmet.

Oh poor Mac! How bad is the wrist, did they cast it? Eat lots of vitamin C and calcium foods in the coming weeks to help with bone healing. I'm glad you had a helmet on. <3
 
Shared this before, but this is my "oh crap" story.

My mother in law is not what you would call "petite". She took these pills because she thought they'd help her lose weight, but she wouldn't alter her diet to eliminate the side effects (Alli half works to block digestion of fat, half works as a behavior modification therapy, 'cause shitting yourself is no fun). She was living with us at the time, because the wife was still working, and the fuck trophies needed cheap daycare.

So, she threw the Alli out one night, and I thought, "hey, let's see what it does, I mean it's OTC after all...". So, I took a dose.

We had tacos that night, and things seemed relatively OK until around 7 the next morning. Instead of a morning shit, I had a morning mudslide. It wasn't normal. This was like the cold grease you find left in pizza boxes the next day. Wiping was more like smearing vaseline on a window - you can push it around, but it's not coming off. I finally just douched in the shower, swore myself off trying any more expensive OTC medication, and got ready for work - in my khaki pants.

At work, we were writing a report for release and were in a review process (then called "Azkaban") where the colonel would go line by line through the report to make sure it said what he wanted it to say. So, I was sitting in the conference room, running numbers when I felt a little squirt. I'd sprung a leak! Instead of finishing my sections on mean time between unscheduled maintenance, mean time between failures, and mean time to repair, I covered the seat in my car with my car cover, drove home, and spent the rest of the afternoon wishing I could give myself a fucking purple-power degreaser enema.

So, was it like vegetable oil or like cooking oil?
 
Shared this before, but this is my "oh crap" story.

My mother in law is not what you would call "petite". She took these pills because she thought they'd help her lose weight, but she wouldn't alter her diet to eliminate the side effects (Alli half works to block digestion of fat, half works as a behavior modification therapy, 'cause shitting yourself is no fun). She was living with us at the time, because the wife was still working, and the fuck trophies needed cheap daycare.

So, she threw the Alli out one night, and I thought, "hey, let's see what it does, I mean it's OTC after all...". So, I took a dose.

We had tacos that night, and things seemed relatively OK until around 7 the next morning. Instead of a morning shit, I had a morning mudslide. It wasn't normal. This was like the cold grease you find left in pizza boxes the next day. Wiping was more like smearing vaseline on a window - you can push it around, but it's not coming off. I finally just douched in the shower, swore myself off trying any more expensive OTC medication, and got ready for work - in my khaki pants.

At work, we were writing a report for release and were in a review process (then called "Azkaban") where the colonel would go line by line through the report to make sure it said what he wanted it to say. So, I was sitting in the conference room, running numbers when I felt a little squirt. I'd sprung a leak! Instead of finishing my sections on mean time between unscheduled maintenance, mean time between failures, and mean time to repair, I covered the seat in my car with my car cover, drove home, and spent the rest of the afternoon wishing I could give myself a fucking purple-power degreaser enema.
omfg I just about spit on my keyboard. hahahahahaha
 
Oh poor Mac! How bad is the wrist, did they cast it? Eat lots of vitamin C and calcium foods in the coming weeks to help with bone healing. I'm glad you had a helmet on. <3

Thanks love.

It was a while ago, and the fracture was in the tiniest bone in the wrist, very hard to spot. Didn't cast it because doc said the bone was too small, but wore a stabilizer wristband for a while.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to come out this much intact if it wasn't for the helmet.

Worst part is, it took me 6 months to be able to overcome the fear and ride a bike again.
 
[QUOTE="Jehannum, post: 1641632, member: 1804"and the fuck trophies needed cheap daycare.[/QUOTE]


This is exactly why I like it here and why I freaked out last weekend when the certificate lapsed.

Now every time my nephew sends videos of his crying giant twin babies, “fuck trophies” will be front and center.
 
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