This one time when I was 14 I went on a cruise with a 30 year old I met online. We had never met in person before but I firgured a cruise was a safe place for a minor to meet an adult. I was a little bit weirded on when I found out they booked it so we would not only be sharing a room but a bed. Once they started feeding me alcohol I blacked out but it must have been a good night because the kept me around. During one stop on the cruise I'm pretty sure they were trying to sell me to a local as a sex slave but they weren't sure about accepting foreign gift cards instead of cash. Long story short I got fully brainwashed on that trip and have been following them around since then. You now that I think about it this sounds an awful lot like someone else's story.
GAY Post your "oh crap, i might be in trouble" stories.
- Thread starter Domon
- Start date
Is this representing how you opened your flower to him?
Well yeah, glare is one of the first moves you get rid of so your Pokemon can learn something cool.
First day on my new road bike. I'm doing ~30kmh and I'm going on tram lines.
Front wheel got inside the track, I got airborn. First thing I though was "oh crap, I'm going head first, I'm either going to die or become paralised".
I fell to the opposing lane. Broke a wrist, bruised my face, cracked a helmet.
Front wheel got inside the track, I got airborn. First thing I though was "oh crap, I'm going head first, I'm either going to die or become paralised".
I fell to the opposing lane. Broke a wrist, bruised my face, cracked a helmet.
Holy crap dude. Glad you're not dead, as you're my favorite Turkey.
I had so many blows to my head and killed so many brain cells with booze, it's a miracle how I can perform basic tasks.
I rented a scooter on a Alanya trip once. The guy asked you know how to ride this and we were all like of course. Which we did. But in true Turkish fashion they guy did something to this scooter and when I just gave it a tiny bit of gas it took off like a rocket and I didn’t have time to gain full control. I shot across traffic and the the curb. The guy came running screaming in Turkish saying you’ll have to pay for my brothers bike. So I was fuck there goes all my money this trip. Then his brother shows up and looks at the bike and they chat in secret then are like it will be $20 American.
All the time guys would get into something stupid off base usually drunk. Most of the time it was harmless but the Turks would freak out and try to throw the book at them. So our base commander would ask the Turkish 4 star on base to get them on the yard so they could military punish them first and then hand them back over. As soon as the got on base they hit the flight line and were in route to Ramstein. The Turks would come back asking for the guy and the base Commander would be like I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was always risking there because that is the only non-war location were the US doesn’t and he never had s SOFA agreement with the local country.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Shared this before, but this is my "oh crap" story.
My mother in law is not what you would call "petite". She took these pills because she thought they'd help her lose weight, but she wouldn't alter her diet to eliminate the side effects (Alli half works to block digestion of fat, half works as a behavior modification therapy, 'cause shitting yourself is no fun). She was living with us at the time, because the wife was still working, and the fuck trophies needed cheap daycare.
So, she threw the Alli out one night, and I thought, "hey, let's see what it does, I mean it's OTC after all...". So, I took a dose.
We had tacos that night, and things seemed relatively OK until around 7 the next morning. Instead of a morning shit, I had a morning mudslide. It wasn't normal. This was like the cold grease you find left in pizza boxes the next day. Wiping was more like smearing vaseline on a window - you can push it around, but it's not coming off. I finally just douched in the shower, swore myself off trying any more expensive OTC medication, and got ready for work - in my khaki pants.
At work, we were writing a report for release and were in a review process (then called "Azkaban") where the colonel would go line by line through the report to make sure it said what he wanted it to say. So, I was sitting in the conference room, running numbers when I felt a little squirt. I'd sprung a leak! Instead of finishing my sections on mean time between unscheduled maintenance, mean time between failures, and mean time to repair, I covered the seat in my car with my car cover, drove home, and spent the rest of the afternoon wishing I could give myself a fucking purple-power degreaser enema.
My mother in law is not what you would call "petite". She took these pills because she thought they'd help her lose weight, but she wouldn't alter her diet to eliminate the side effects (Alli half works to block digestion of fat, half works as a behavior modification therapy, 'cause shitting yourself is no fun). She was living with us at the time, because the wife was still working, and the fuck trophies needed cheap daycare.
So, she threw the Alli out one night, and I thought, "hey, let's see what it does, I mean it's OTC after all...". So, I took a dose.
We had tacos that night, and things seemed relatively OK until around 7 the next morning. Instead of a morning shit, I had a morning mudslide. It wasn't normal. This was like the cold grease you find left in pizza boxes the next day. Wiping was more like smearing vaseline on a window - you can push it around, but it's not coming off. I finally just douched in the shower, swore myself off trying any more expensive OTC medication, and got ready for work - in my khaki pants.
At work, we were writing a report for release and were in a review process (then called "Azkaban") where the colonel would go line by line through the report to make sure it said what he wanted it to say. So, I was sitting in the conference room, running numbers when I felt a little squirt. I'd sprung a leak! Instead of finishing my sections on mean time between unscheduled maintenance, mean time between failures, and mean time to repair, I covered the seat in my car with my car cover, drove home, and spent the rest of the afternoon wishing I could give myself a fucking purple-power degreaser enema.