Yes but unless you've killed all natural impulses that there is something, just a tiny feeling, that raising a set of entirely foreign genetics is disconcerting.
Thread I'm selling sh!t
- Thread starter Applesauce
- Start date
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
i realize your heart loves who your heart loves..... he married her for some reason.
that being said, not muh thang
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
is it really selfish to want to start a family with someone from scratch? to share children all of our own? i do not think that is a selfish thought at all.
maybe it's not "progressive" or "liberal" of me to feel that way....but fuck it. it's my life.
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
the difference is the heart plays a role. he could've fallen in love for her despite it....not because of that.
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
The kid is part of her. You would probably know about it long before you fell in love. Therefore if you continue to choose a relationship after knowing someone has a kid, you're signing up for the possibility
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
there is an inherint attachment that can't be faked to a child that isn't your own flesh and blood. they are stil lyour son/daughter....but they are not a part of you. it's not the same.
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
you can't tell your heart not to love someone........ a few dates in and he could've already been sold that she was for him (regardless of her past children). i don't know personally.... i just know that i couldn't imagine raising a child that is not mine.
I like you April, but your logic is severely flawed in this IMO. There is absolutely no difference in your situation or someone not wanting to adopt.
It's just as selfless to realize you are not capable of taking care of a child who isn't biologically yours, as it is in your case. IMO it is just as brave to say you cannot raise a child who isn't biologically yours as it is to admit you do not/cannot raise any child.
Either both situations are cop outs, or both are brave to admit you are not going to just have a child to be a part of the "norm"
I desperately want another child. I really do - but the fact is I have one and only one for quite a few reasons. Adoption is not easy - same with fertility treatments or surrogacy. In my case to have another child would require either surrogacy or adoption. So far we're not doing either, so I wouldn't be so quick to judge anyone for their reasons.
Again it's brave to admit you don't have it in you to do something like that. Better than to let a child suffer later.
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
Absolutely. Salvage titles are issued for many reasons, not all of which are the kiss of death.
Some people want kids, some people don't. Some people don't mind being in a relationship with someone who already has kids and some obviously do. It's wrong to rip on someone who has made the decision that they are not capable or willing to be a parent and therefore do not want kids just as it was wrong to insult @123 or to imply somehow he got the raw end of a deal because he chose to marry someone with children from a previous relationship.
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I guess I understand sort of... but I'll admit, I let my emotions about this person and their selfish ways (more than just their viewpoint on adoption) cloud my judgement.
It's like the animal shelters, I get all bent out of shape when people don't adopt and rather purchase from a breeder. It breaks my heart that there are animals left in cages dying or in the human sense, kids growing up in abusive foster homes until they age out. Its sad either way and wish we did more of our part to help these kids, that's what community is about right?
If I were to ever want kids (like my mom says I will once I hit 30... welp, I hit it a year ago), I'd be all for adopting. That's just my opinion on how my life should be-- while there are still animals in cages and kids in foster care, I'd rather help them first.
It's like the animal shelters, I get all bent out of shape when people don't adopt and rather purchase from a breeder. It breaks my heart that there are animals left in cages dying or in the human sense, kids growing up in abusive foster homes until they age out. Its sad either way and wish we did more of our part to help these kids, that's what community is about right?
If I were to ever want kids (like my mom says I will once I hit 30... welp, I hit it a year ago), I'd be all for adopting. That's just my opinion on how my life should be-- while there are still animals in cages and kids in foster care, I'd rather help them first.
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
Yes but you cannot force others to make the same choices as you, this is why we are all individual.I guess I understand sort of... but I'll admit, I let my emotions about this person and their selfish ways (more than just their viewpoint on adoption) cloud my judgement.
It's like the animal shelters, I get all bent out of shape when people don't adopt and rather purchase from a breeder. It breaks my heart that there are animals left in cages dying or in the human sense, kids growing up in abusive foster homes until they age out. Its sad either way and wish we did more of our part to help these kids, that's what community is about right?
If I were to ever want kids (like my mom says I will once I hit 30... welp, I hit it a year ago), I'd be all for adopting. That's just my opinion on how my life should be-- while there are still animals in cages and kids in foster care, I'd rather help them first.