Food The Perfect Glazed Ham

[Strings]

Im eating the leg of an enemy.

Better eat both legs. Babies aren't very filling.

 

[kiwi]

What do I do with the maple syrup?

 

[nukes]

What do I do with the maple syrup?

That's the final step before heating.
Pour slowly over ham.
I like to get some trapped in the pineapple rings, to hold the flavor.

 

[DJBrenton]

I'm not wasting my time reading this thread. I'll wait for Wicky's 'My first glazed ham' thread instead thanks.

 

[nukes]

I'm not wasting my time reading this thread. I'll wait for Wicky's 'My first glazed ham' thread instead thanks.

Hater.
Not that I'm not used to this kind of animosity.
Get in line.

 

[\m/]

WHAT ABOUT THE AAA TRIPLE DARK AMBER MAPLE SIZZURP?!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[nukes]

WHAT ABOUT THE AAA TRIPLE DARK AMBER MAPLE SIZZURP?!!!!!!!!!!!

What about it?

 

[nukes]

I have edited the Original SPED Recipe to include the maple step.
OMG.

 

[\m/]

Well, you didn't say what to do with it in the op and now I'm going in blind... if you don't hear back in 5 days, call the cops.

edit: oh, nvm

 

[nukes]

Roast beef
Purchase a standing rib roast of approximately 3 lbs.
Prepare a marinade of soy sauce (3 cups soy sauce, juice from 3 limes, chopped red onion, 1 chopped clove of garlic).
Soak in a covered pot overnight, turn accordingly.
Final prep of the roast is crucial:
Carefully cut 3 cloves of garlic into SLIVERS.
Make cross cuts into the roast with appropriate knife. Embed slivers of garlic INTO the cross cuts.
Preheat oven to 350f, cook until center of meat reaches 167f.

The imbedded garlic will roast into the meat, permeating the flesh with garlic flavor and the marinade will keep the roast moist and flavorful.

Serve with pumpkin ass beer and ripple.
Serves 4.

 

[\m/]

What do you mean by "turn accordingly"? Should I set my alarm for every 2, 3, or 4 hours?

Also, if train A leaves the station going 60 miles per hour and train B leaves one hour later going 85 miles per hour, how long will it take train B to catch up with train A?

 

[nukes]

What do you mean by "turn accordingly"? Should I set my alarm for every 2, 3, or 4 hours?

Also, if train A leaves the station going 60 miles per hour and train B leaves one hour later going 85 miles per hour, how long will it take train B to catch up with train A?

I recommend turning once at the 6 hour mark so the obverse side of the roast can absorb fluid equally to the top of the roast.
Ideally, the marination process should take a minimum of 12 hours.

This shit is difficult. I'm a talented cook, but never have I written recipes for others to utilize.
I'm finding this is a different skill set.

 

[\m/]

I recommend turning once at the 6 hour mark so the obverse side of the roast can absorb fluid equally to the top of the roast.
Ideally, the marination process should take a minimum of 12 hours.

This shit is difficult. I'm a talented cook, but never have I written recipes for others to utilize.
I'm finding this is a different skill set.

You're doing a fine job.

 

[nukes]

Stir Fried Chard:
Ingredients:
One big fluffy head of chard
1 clove garlic
1 small red onion
3 medium Roma tomatoes
Dice ingredients and keep separate.
Wash chard thoroughly. Sandy chard sucks ass.
In a wok, big frying pan, or dutch oven, heat pan over high heat. If your pan smokes, it's too hot. I recommend using a blend of canola and olive oil.
The olive oil will flavor the food appropriately.
In the hot oil, add diced garlic first.
When garlic is medium brown, add onion. Stir quickly and briskly.
When onion is slightly brown, add tomato. Keep stirring briskly.
When tomato softens and there's some fluid development in the bottom of the pan, add chard. Keep stirring g briskly
The leaves will reduce quickly.
When you have reduced the leaves to wilted consistency, cover and reduce heat between low and medium. Salt to taste and simmer 7-10 minutes.
Serve over Jasmine rice.
Serves 4.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

What do I do with the maple syrup?

Pour it into your coffee.

 

[Darth Handsome]

Holiday time is upon us.
Here's how I glaze a ham to perfection
Ingredients;
1 ham (I like spiral uncured from Wholefoods)
1/4 cup AAA Dark Amber maple syrup
1 can Dole sliced pineapple in juice
NO cloves, I dislike cloves.
If you add cloves, please don't tell people you got this recipe from me.

Preheat oven to 325.
In a roasting pan, place the ham.
This is a recipe for a precooked ham.
*If you apply this recipe to an uncooked ham, you may get sick and die.

Carefully place the pineapple rings on top of the ham.
Slowly pour the entire can of juice over the ham.
You should end up with half an inch of juice in the bottom of the pan.
This will keep the ham moist while heating.
Slowly pour the maple syrup over the ham, don't be afraid to let the syrup lovingly linger in the pineapple rings.
Food is love.

Heat til thoroughly warm.
Slice and enjoy!

I thought you people werent allowed to eat ham?

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

What do you mean "you people"!?

 

[Darth Handsome]

What do you mean "you people"!?

You should know by now to scramble to your safe space before reading any post of mine.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

You should know by now to scramble to your safe space before reading any post of mine.

Wait, I have a safe space? Want to point it out to me?

 

[nukes]

What do you mean "you people"!?

Cubans. He thinks I'm Cuban.