Food The Perfect Glazed Ham

nukes

I Eat Buttholes Raw
Apr 15, 2016
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Holiday time is upon us.
Here's how I glaze a ham to perfection
Ingredients;
1 ham (I like spiral uncured from Wholefoods)
1/4 cup AAA Dark Amber maple syrup
1 can Dole sliced pineapple in juice
NO cloves, I dislike cloves.
If you add cloves, please don't tell people you got this recipe from me.

Preheat oven to 325.
In a roasting pan, place the ham.
This is a recipe for a precooked ham.
*If you apply this recipe to an uncooked ham, you may get sick and die.

Carefully place the pineapple rings on top of the ham.
Slowly pour the entire can of juice over the ham.
You should end up with half an inch of juice in the bottom of the pan.
This will keep the ham moist while heating.
Slowly pour the maple syrup over the ham, don't be afraid to let the syrup lovingly linger in the pineapple rings.
Food is love.

Heat til thoroughly warm.
Slice and enjoy!
 
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Take one package of Gorton's Classic fish sticks.
DO NOT THE THAW!
Arrange them evenly on a cookie sheet.
BE CAREFUL TO NOT ARRANGE THEM TOO CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER. Even spacing means delicious fish sticks.
Preheat oven to 350.
Should take 25 minutes til golden brown.
Serve with wasabi tartar sauce and golden apple ass beer.
 
Reminds me, Nukes. The other day I was moving some boxes for the old lady next door. She had a bowl of peanuts I kept raiding. When I was done she tried to give me $10. I said no, I can't take that. I told her the peanuts were payment enough. She said Aren't they good? I usually just suck the chocolate off them and put them back in the bowl.
 
Take one package of Gorton's Classic fish sticks.
DO NOT THE THAW!
Arrange them evenly on a cookie sheet.
BE CAREFUL TO NOT ARRANGE THEM TOO CLOSE TO ONE ANOTHER. Even spacing means delicious fish sticks.
Preheat oven to 350.
Should take 25 minutes til golden brown.
Serve with wasabi tartar sauce and golden apple ass beer.
Here's a recent concoction that I came up with for fish tacos.

1 cup mayo
1/2 a lime worth of lime juice, about 2 tbsp
1 minced jalapeno, sans seeds (unless a spicy colon cleanse is your thing)
1/2 tsp each cumin, corinader, onion powder, garlic powder, pepper, salt
1/4 cup minced fresh cilantro (if you have it, it's fine without, but awesome with)

If you're gonna eat like a bachelor, at least do it with awesome tartar sauce.
 
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Taco Dip. NO MEAT.

2 blocks of cream cheese softened.
1 -16oz tub of sour cream.
1 pack of Old Elpaso taco seasoning mix.

Blend together well with an electric egg beater.
Spread it out about a 1/2" thick on what have you.
Top with light onion, lettace, tomato and shredded Sharp cheddar.

You're welcome.
 
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Reactions: OOD, \m/ and nukes
Taco Dip. NO MEAT.

2 blocks of cream cheese softened.
1 -16oz tub of sour cream.
1 pack of Old Elpaso taco seasoning mix.

Blend together well with an electric egg beater.
Spread it out about a 1/2" thick on what have you.
Top with light onion, lettace, tomato and shredded Sharp cheddar.

You're welcome.
1-800-CARDIOLOGIST