He's telling a bunch of strangers. None of us will ever actually meet her. Why would it matter? If they'd asked him not to tell anyone sure that would be wrong, but Asa just seems excited and is sharing happy news.
Baby The Official Baby/Fetus/BirthCanal Thread
- Thread starter Petunia
- Start date
Mr. Argumentor
I fab shitboxes and shitbox accessories.
Which is still a little silly. As I said, I was the second to last person to know. Hopefully she told dad in person
Yes this.
Hopefully she already had a viable ultrasound with fetal heart visible (6-8 weeks, like @Maureen said).
The safe time to spill the news is thought to be 12 weeks, but that is a long time for some. Some want to tell family at Christmas, for a recent example.
thintoast
Mayosapien
Yes hello, I'm here to tell people how to make a baby.
That's my expertise.
I am a specialist in the avian affairs.
That's my expertise.
I am a specialist in the avian affairs.
I was just trying to clarify what she meant.
However I def told my siblings before my parents. But mine wasn't planned at all. Not prepared for that news.
Jehannum
Puts the "pro" in procrastination
Not everyone likes to tell early though. Losing a pregnancy is rough and truthfully a large portion of those who knew didn't make it easier. In fact some made comments at times that would rip my heart out.
You are right - tell whoever you want whenever you want. It's your choice. Just like I chose to tell most everyone at about 14-15 weeks for the 2nd and waited on 2 ultrasounds and a few heart beat readings before I shared. First I shared at about 8-9 weeks after a viable heartbeat was found on the ultrasound.
Saying it here isn't a big deal IMO. I have no idea who she is and I doubt she'd read here.
beceause being that early is high risk.
im happy for @Mr. Asa and the new addition to the family. i think what is being said here is that since its such a crucial time MOST people don't share the news this early KNOWING the risks
but since Asa said shes aware of the risks and is super happy we should all wish her a healthy pregnancy.
Jimmycrackcorn
abscesschin
@Domon
are you getting this for peanut?
http://www.engadget.com/2015/12/31/give-your-fetus-a-concert-with-vaginal-sound-system-babypod/
are you getting this for peanut?
http://www.engadget.com/2015/12/31/give-your-fetus-a-concert-with-vaginal-sound-system-babypod/
Before a meal, I don't look pregnant at all. After I eat I suddenly become 6 months pregnant. Maybe I'll actually start to show soon if baby is taking up that much space inside that there's nothing left for a full stomach.
eileenbunny
Druish Princess
I have thought about this issue a lot and I've really decided it doesn't matter. Consider this: I found out I was pregnant when I was only 2 weeks along. I told you all right away. I was excited and weirded out by it honestly. So I shared. Now if that had ended in a miscarriage I would have had to explain that to everyone here. Then I would have gotten support and condolences from everyone because even though we bitch at each other a lot, overall we are pretty cool to each other when there is a real need. If I hadn't mentioned it I'd just be miserable in silence. Not telling people is not going to make me less sad about losing a baby. Of course it is a personal choice but I figure I'm either going to have to explain my misery over and over again regardless. If I didn't tell people in real life I was pregnant they would likely wonder why I was sad or acting different. I think society puts too much emphasis on not having emotions in public. Why not have emotions? What's so wrong with that? It's one of the most human things we do! It's beautiful even if it is sadness and loss. Why should we feel ashamed? Why should women be shamed into being silenced about this specific issue? Everyone's like...oooo don't talk about that until you are 12 weeks along. To me that is weird. Is talking about it going to bring bad juju down upon you or something? It's one of those societal things that has always bothered me and I feel like it's a women's issue where we are shamed. Like if I don't tell anyone I'm not going to be allowed to be sad about losing a child or something? I dunno. Fuck that.
Living through it I have a difference of opinion. It wasn't about shame, it was about my heart and my emotions. It royally sucked to have to deal with some comments at times I didn't care to. Or having people call me and say "So how's the pregnancy going" when they were missed in being told the bad news. It freaking ripped my heart out at times when I didn't want to deal with it.
There isn't a right or wrong answer to it, and the person sharing should have the right to share when they want. I didn't want a repeat so yes, I waited and I waited a very long time to tell. It wasn't shame though that held it back. I told some people I knew would be understanding. I chose not to tell some family that was not as understanding about the pain I went through as I thought.
Talking about it long after the fact is fine. I wish women would talk about it more so that we have more support to. I had specific people I went to and glad for that. It isn't something that should be silenced at all. People should understand how hard it is for some, but until people stop thinking a miscarriage is nothing emotionally to deal with and stop saying things like "get over it" I'll choose how and when I see fit to share something with people.
There isn't a right or wrong answer to it, and the person sharing should have the right to share when they want. I didn't want a repeat so yes, I waited and I waited a very long time to tell. It wasn't shame though that held it back. I told some people I knew would be understanding. I chose not to tell some family that was not as understanding about the pain I went through as I thought.
Talking about it long after the fact is fine. I wish women would talk about it more so that we have more support to. I had specific people I went to and glad for that. It isn't something that should be silenced at all. People should understand how hard it is for some, but until people stop thinking a miscarriage is nothing emotionally to deal with and stop saying things like "get over it" I'll choose how and when I see fit to share something with people.
i have suffered a couple of miscarriages and PERSONALLY speaking I wouldn't have shared so early to anyone including family simply out of fear that it MAY happen again and having to relive that loss with an audience makes it that much worse
Amstel
The Hoarse Whisperer
I think this is the reason caution is used. The medical risk of losing the pregnancy is considerably higher early on. Getting all excited so early is fine if it turns out there's no problems, but the docs will tell you the disappointment is greater if there are.
eileenbunny
Druish Princess
I've suffered a couple of miscarriages myself and it's the idea that I should just get over it and not have feelings about it in public that makes me think the way I do about it all. I do agree that everyone should have the right to decide how they want to handle it, but there's also this stigma that needs to go away.
i guess its more devastating for others... someone people can bounce back with no issues or connection... others not so much
my last one was horrible. it still makes me sad and i certainly didnt just get over it.
eileenbunny
Druish Princess
No, I think you misunderstand. I don't think women should just get over it and hide their feelings about it. I too was devastated and still think about it. I just don't feel like hiding this from people. I understand it's different for different people. I just don't like the societal idea that we SHOULD hide it or just get over it.
ok gotcha.
it really just comes down to: do i really wanna tell everyone so soon with the high risk of losing my baby and then having everyone calling me and bothering me after the fact?
ARE YOU OK?
THERES A REASON FOR EVERYTHING
GOD KNOWS WHAT HS DOING
YOU CAN TRY AGAIN LATER
ETC
who wants to deal with that shit when you're suffering such a loss. a loss no one can help you thru
i told my mother cuz she's my mother but outside of that i chose to keep it to myself till the time was right
I agree with this. I had people who said I should get over it. It's sadly a common thing. Or people would bring it up often and at times when I wasn't wanting to talk or deal with emotions. Because of that and because of losing the baby when I did (2nd trimester) I wasn't into sharing. I didn't want a repeat.
I think people need to talk about it and get it out there that it's hard for families to go through. Too many people say it's not a big deal. I had a woman say to me that she miscarried her 2nd pregnancy and it didn't affect her so why was I so upset. Uh... okay... In addition to everything Kiki said above... not everyone is as supportive as they should be. I chose to tell two friends (no mom to share with and one of them had also had trouble getting pregnant only to lose that pregnancy so she was a great support) but the rest had to wait until I was ready. If I had my way I would have kept it to myself until 20 weeks, but that wasn't practical.