Baby The Official Baby/Fetus/BirthCanal Thread

Domon

enjoys a good porkin'
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i’m pushing 60, and kiko is almost 13... i cant even imagine doing it all over again..
he makes his own breakfast FFS..
i’m golden


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yeah, 1 is a solid #. I was fine with one, also fine with two, but anyone saying 2 is just as easy as 1 is lying.
 
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OOD

Yet ANOTHER ! Beautiful Bearded Rashner
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for me, life has been easier with 1
i cant imagine a bunch of kids in my life.
i guess it’s just not for me personally.
i love that it’s so easy to travel with 1.
i love that i can give 100% attention to 1
i dunno, he’s like my best friend and i have an incredible bond with him .. it’s hard to imagine splitting up all that love with more babes.

I KNOW ITS POSSIBLE OBVIOUSLY but i can’t imagine it.

my son has siblings on his dads side and when he comes home from the weekend visits he’s like OMG MAMÁ SO MUCH CHAOS! lol i guess he’s soooo used to our quiet easy laid back home where he is the centre of attention.

i have soooo much respect for women with lots of babies to love, i don’t know how they do it.
i guess i would have liked to have a daughter but i remember what a rotten daughter i was lololol

in my personal experience life is so easy with one ..


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When we had just one I couldn't imagine having two, for the reasons you say. Now that we have two I couldn't imagine having three. And the thought of having just one seems unbalanced now. It's weird but I guess it's less about the number and more about being used to whatever life throws at you. I definitely had some adjusting the first couple of months with the second one, but now I ignore them both equally.
 

OOD

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Love doesn't get "split up", it just increases.
So the mom I nanny for now is a new mom and the other day she asked me if having two increases the amount of love our splits it and my answer was split. My reasoning is that love is not an emotion for me. Love is a verb. It requires action and time. I can only do so many things and I only have so much time. That's one of the reasons I don't want more.
 

wetwille

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The point of having more is so they can terrorize each other.
I was the youngest of 5, they terrorized me all right.:eek: Yeah, you could have a bunch and you'd have a different relationship with each. Personal affinity changes a lot. Sly & the Family Stone sang it:

One child grows up to be
Somebody that just loves to learn
And another child grows up to be
Somebody you'd just love to burn

Happens.
 
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kiwi

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I loved growing up in a big family and I love it even more now. When all the grandkids get together they all have someone close to their age that’s their best friend and they love being together (except my oldest, she’s 3 years older than the closest cousin. She kind of got the shaft with me having to the oldest grandkids, then everyone else joining in).
 

august

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Time on the other hand, time is a finite resource, and that shit does get split up. some kids definitely get/demand more attention than others.
So the mom I nanny for now is a new mom and the other day she asked me if having two increases the amount of love our splits it and my answer was split. My reasoning is that love is not an emotion for me. Love is a verb. It requires action and time. I can only do so many things and I only have so much time. That's one of the reasons I don't want more.
yeah, these are some of the reasons why eventually having a second is a concept that makes me feel guilty, like Daphne will be bummed because I will have less time for her because I'll have chosen to put myself in a position where I need to give some of that time to someone else. but, she is also particularly needy at this age still, so maybe as she starts to get a little more independent (in the baby way, not like I expect her to move out and get a job already) the idea won't make me feel so bad because she won't feel like she needs 100% of me anymore. I also don't have a personal frame of reference for what she might feel about it bc I was an only child and didn't have cousins or anything. I was the loneliest kid around, and I was expected to behave like an adult from a young age. I also had a pretty fucked up family life, so I struggle with what I'm supposed to feel about people who are "family," because I feel pretty much nothing for my family, and they're mostly not in my life anymore. they're just some people, I can't trust them and there's no such thing as unconditional love with them. they use emotional abuse and manipulation to force you into thinking they love you/this is what love is, and if that doesn't work there's always physical retribution. with my ex's family, who were my first "new" family, it always felt more like they begrudgingly tolerated me because they had to (and I don't know how much of me feeling that way is legit, how much is bc my family fucked me up, and how much is my ex using me feeling that way & feeding into to control me). Jason's family is wonderful and I really feel like I'm one of them, but I'm still trying to figure out what that means.
 
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Domon

enjoys a good porkin'
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I loved growing up in a big family and I love it even more now. When all the grandkids get together they all have someone close to their age that’s their best friend and they love being together (except my oldest, she’s 3 years older than the closest cousin. She kind of got the shaft with me having to the oldest grandkids, then everyone else joining in).
whats the smallest spread in age between any of your kids?
 

Domon

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So the mom I nanny for now is a new mom and the other day she asked me if having two increases the amount of love our splits it and my answer was split. My reasoning is that love is not an emotion for me. Love is a verb. It requires action and time. I can only do so many things and I only have so much time. That's one of the reasons I don't want more.
this is a really good answer imo.
 
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Jehannum

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So the mom I nanny for now is a new mom and the other day she asked me if having two increases the amount of love our splits it and my answer was split. My reasoning is that love is not an emotion for me. Love is a verb. It requires action and time. I can only do so many things and I only have so much time. That's one of the reasons I don't want more.
That's why two is optimal for a traditional nuclear family, in my opinion. You're still 1:1, instead of losing track of one or more in zone coverage.
 
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wetwille

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yeah, these are some of the reasons why eventually having a second is a concept that makes me feel guilty, like Daphne will be bummed because I will have less time for her because I'll have chosen to put myself in a position where I need to give some of that time to someone else.
Depending on her age and personality she might really dig a sibling. Especially if you include her and let her be mommy's helper with the baby. Our last obstetrician was Dr. Jewel. My oldest girl waited in anticipation for "Baby Jewel." :fly: She still teases her baby sister with that nickname 26 years later. Besties for life.
 

Domon

enjoys a good porkin'
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I think my view is a bit skewed since mine were almost irish twins. The older one still needed a lot of caring when the younger one was born, and wasnt able to help much at all. If you had a bigger age spread where the older sibling is a helper rather than needing constant care it might be different. I think that differential is like 4+ years though to truly achieve that
 
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