Let's masturbate!

[*Fuxx Burger*]

For those who can't click:

This is a website where people can send in masturbation tips.

An example that I think a few people on UF will find helpful

Fill 'er Up

Just be sure to empty it out when you're done:

I like to fill my ass with warm water from an enema hose attached to the faucet, then insert a butt plug to keep it in, and masturbate while a girl watches me.

 

[*Fuxx Burger*]

they dont call her fuxx furlong for nothing

I found this link off another website and I sat here laughing my ass off at some of the entries....

 

[Onnotangu]

For those who can't click:

This is a website where people can send in masturbation tips.

An example that I think a few people on UF will find helpful

why needs a buttplug

tubonno for all!

 

[theacoustician]

uh

 

[water]

This thread is going to get crazy really quickly (not that it ever had a chance to the contrary).

 

[HydroSqueegee]

I found this link off another website and I sat here laughing my ass off at some of the entries....

i find it funny that you're fuxx burger now. it makes me giggle.

 

[Onnotangu]

i find it funny that you're fuxx burger now. it makes me giggle.

and should not fat burger be name raped to fatfurlong?

 

[theacoustician]

i find it funny that you're fuxx burger now. it makes me giggle.

She's been Fuxx Burger pretty much since she registered here.

 

[kiwi]

i find it funny that you're fuxx burger now. it makes me giggle.

Knyte wanted my name to be Knyte Rider.

 

[water]

and should not fat burger be name raped to fatfurlong?

omg yes, best idea ever.

Knyte wanted my name to be Knyte Rider.

That was because you suck at making up screen names, and asked me to come up with one.

 

[theacoustician]

and should not fat burger be name raped to fatfurlong?

That sounds like a massive bowel movement.

 

[Onnotangu]

That sounds like a massive bowel movement.

no but chocolate mudbaby does.

robot chicken

 

[*Fuxx Burger*]

That sounds like a massive bowel movement.

Dooooooeeet!!!


Another for the road:

Shock me

Get naked, but wear socks, and turn on your computer. Then rub your feet on carpet and touch the screen with your cock. WOWWYYY ZOWWWYYYY!


Have a seat

Even with the condom, I sure worry about the splinters:

I like my ass penetrated when I jerk off, so I carved a penis out of wood and screwed it down to this old chair I have. Whenever I get horny I put a condom on it and lube up. Before I start to stroke my cock I sit on my wooden dick and start to fuck myself with it while my limp dick bounces around. Once I get hard I stroke to an incredible orgasm. I'm thinking about screwing it to a door jamb so I can get on all fours and do it.



Vaporized

(Note, this might irritate your anus, proceed with extreme caution.) Get a tube of Vic's. This is used for unblocking noses and can be bought from any pharmacy. Lubricate it with saliva then stick it up your ass. Then sit on a chair and spit down on your dick so it is lubricated. When you cum the feeling is enhanced because of the Vic's

 

[itburnswhenipee]

first you dim the lights and play some soothing music..then you open your pants and lower your boxer/briefs....

I understand some people have success with robes and wizard hats.

haaaaaaaar!

 

[HydroSqueegee]

She's been Fuxx Burger pretty much since she registered here.

i know. i giggle long time.

 

[b_sinning]

Never take masterbation advice from someone named itburnswhenipee. Good rule of thumb.

 

[Onnotangu]

I understand some people have success with robes and wizard hats.

haaaaaaaar!

Zing

 

[Fat Burger]

Thanks for the thread ratings, everyone

 

[Pandora]

Would she like some help?

You like em inexperienced then? I won't ask if there's a reason for that....

 

[Thorn Bird]

fly, where are you????

what. the. tinkle.

i'm really not believing these tidbits that keep being pasted. dear jesus, people are creative.