I need your help my friend Peter North

Sarcasmo · Mar 21, 2006

Whatever you decide to do, pay extremely close attention to the following:

1. ALWAYS open her car door and shut it once she's in.
2. ALWAYS open other doors for her and let her walk through first.
3. DON'T swear, and watch your jokes. Both can make you look like an uncivilized asshole. Wait, shit. Don't say asshole. Fuck, I said shit.
4. When confronted by angry pygmies, position yourself between her and them so as to prevent her from catching a wayward spear tip. Tell her to run and back away from the pygmies slowly to cover her escape.

Pro tip: carry extra weighted javelins in case the pygmies have shields. Use the tried-and-true Roman method of lodging the javelins into their shields and forcing them to drop them due to the excessive weight on their forearms. Enemies without shields help to even the odds.

JAXvillain · Mar 21, 2006

fly said:
Just put on a condom before you go. Chicks love Boy Scouts.

b_sinning · Mar 21, 2006

Remeber: When in doubt whip it out.

Syrup Beaver · Mar 21, 2006

NAFLA conventions make for a great first date in my experience

Mean Mr. Mustard · Mar 21, 2006

ChikkenNoodul said:
NAFLA conventions make for a great first date in my experience

Picking her up in costume is also a good idea.

simple · Mar 21, 2006

Sarcasmo said:
1. ALWAYS open her car door and shut it once she's in.

I know a lot of girls that hate that

Syrup Beaver · Mar 21, 2006

Drool-Boy said:
Picking her up in costume is also a good idea.

I agree, and choosing a unique costume shows that you're creative and capable of thinking on your own.

Sarcasmo · Mar 21, 2006

elpmis said:
I know a lot of girls that hate that

Doesn't matter. Do it anyway. If they want to hate the fact that you are considerate, let them. At least they will know.

JAXvillain · Mar 21, 2006

Drool-Boy said:
Picking her up in costume is also a good idea.

throw in some larping after dinner and that chick will make you into dessert

reverendsaintjay · Mar 21, 2006

Well, I don't know what kind of advice I can give on this, but I have a very simple outlook on first dates. This isn't a "Get to know you" process, if everything works out I'll have loads of time to find out where you have been and where you are going. First dates are a weeding out process, plain and simple. The worst thing you can do on a date is be anything other than yourself. You are there to show them what they can expect from normal, everyday behavior. Now I'm not saying that you belch and fart in front of her, there is a level of appropriate behavior to maintain. But being something you aren't is equivalent to lying to the girl, which is a horrible way to start any relationship. Don't be afraid to call the date short if things aren't working out. Also, don't be afraid to do exactly what you want to do, that's what you are there for, right? You also can't be upset if she calls the date early. If anything she is doing the most courteous thing she possibly can, keeping you from wasting one more second on a relationship that she can't become invested in.

The most important first date rule I can convey: If, at the end of the date, you want to kiss her goodnight... F'n kiss her. If she doesn't want to kiss you she's got a thousand different ways to indicate that, from a turned head to a kneed groin. The worst thing that could happen is that she gives you a 100% clear signal as to whether this thing can blossom into love or is relegated to the emotional dumpster named 'Friendship'.

Because let's face it, you already have enough friends, don't you?

Penis Envy · Mar 21, 2006

first off, i was raised to respect women, the opening and closing of doors will occur, as will me pulling her seat out for her.

As far as everything else goes.. well, i'll play the nice guy but i look just like this guy now

my Go-T isn't as long yet though..

the guy on the left, not the right.. LMFAO.. my hair doesn't grow that fast

Sarcasmo · Mar 21, 2006

And thus concludes this episode of "A Day in the Life of Some Dude on the Internet."

water · Mar 21, 2006

Punch her in the mouth.

Be yourself, she'll either like you or she won't, it's as simple as that.

Penis Envy · Mar 21, 2006

KNYTE said:
Punch her in the mouth.

Be yourself, she'll either like you or she won't, it's as simple as that.

i planned on that, just wondering if anyone had suggestions on some other things to do.

but i think Putt-Putt will be good.

Mean Mr. Mustard · Mar 21, 2006

Bring an empty pickle jar and a magnifying glass, then offer to analyze her pee.

Sarcasmo · Mar 21, 2006

She will probably get really tired of the constant weeping while he writes in his diary at the table.

ERage · Mar 21, 2006

Drool-Boy said:
Bring an empty pickle jar and a magnifying glass, then offer to analyze her pee.

Afterwards present her with a full mayo jar. No explanation necessary.

thrawn · Mar 21, 2006

Sarcasmo said:
She will probably get really tired of the constant weeping while he writes in his diary at the table.

i wonder how she will feel after mom drops them off at the arcade in the family station wagon

water · Mar 21, 2006

ERage said:
Afterwards present her with a full mayo jar. No explanation necessary.

Or if things get intimate bring a brick with a string around and demand that she tie it on you and then throw it (if she asks where to tie it just give her a "isn't it obvious" type look). Guage her reaction and then decide if you want to be with her for the rest of your life.