Ontopic Health Thread: post your AIDS, diseases and infekshunz here.

fly said:
Man getting old is fun. I just had to shit into a bucket and then give it to the UPS guy.

What a world!
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I had a G.I. issue once while I was active duty. They requested a stool sample, gave me the whole spiel about safely doing it, refrigeration of the sample if done at home, etc. As an aside they told me I could do it day of and not refrigerate.

Not wanting shit in my fridge, even in an airtight container, I opted for that.

Next day I took a break from work, grabbed some rubber gloves from the shop and went in. Went to the handicapped stall, put on the gloves and washed em in soap to ensure there was nothing on them. Caught a deuce I was dropping and shoved it in the jar they gave me.

Finished up, washed up, went to turn it in.

"Ok sir, has this sample been properly refrigerated?"
"Nope, its fresh."

About then the guy might've noticed the sample jar was a little warm (I did before I handed it over,) but he did look utterly disgusted.

So, what I'm saying is; if you can turn it in in person, its much more fun than mailing it off.
 
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Mr. Argumentor said:
I had a G.I. issue once while I was active duty. They requested a stool sample, gave me the whole spiel about safely doing it, refrigeration of the sample if done at home, etc. As an aside they told me I could do it day of and not refrigerate.

Not wanting shit in my fridge, even in an airtight container, I opted for that.

Next day I took a break from work, grabbed some rubber gloves from the shop and went in. Went to the handicapped stall, put on the gloves and washed em in soap to ensure there was nothing on them. Caught a deuce I was dropping and shoved it in the jar they gave me.

Finished up, washed up, went to turn it in.

"Ok sir, has this sample been properly refrigerated?"
"Nope, its fresh."

About then the guy might've noticed the sample jar was a little warm (I did before I handed it over,) but he did look utterly disgusted.

So, what I'm saying is; if you can turn it in in person, its much more fun than mailing it off.
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Listening to @AppleTurkey talk about the sample intakes at work, I think you're probably one of the few relatively pristine examples they got.
 
Mr. Argumentor said:
I had a G.I. issue once while I was active duty. They requested a stool sample, gave me the whole spiel about safely doing it, refrigeration of the sample if done at home, etc. As an aside they told me I could do it day of and not refrigerate.

Not wanting shit in my fridge, even in an airtight container, I opted for that.

Next day I took a break from work, grabbed some rubber gloves from the shop and went in. Went to the handicapped stall, put on the gloves and washed em in soap to ensure there was nothing on them. Caught a deuce I was dropping and shoved it in the jar they gave me.

Finished up, washed up, went to turn it in.

"Ok sir, has this sample been properly refrigerated?"
"Nope, its fresh."

About then the guy might've noticed the sample jar was a little warm (I did before I handed it over,) but he did look utterly disgusted.

So, what I'm saying is; if you can turn it in in person, its much more fun than mailing it off.
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:lol: I'm not driving to Wisconsin. The UPS guy can deal with it.
 
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Mr. Argumentor said:
I had a G.I. issue once while I was active duty. They requested a stool sample, gave me the whole spiel about safely doing it, refrigeration of the sample if done at home, etc. As an aside they told me I could do it day of and not refrigerate.

Not wanting shit in my fridge, even in an airtight container, I opted for that.

Next day I took a break from work, grabbed some rubber gloves from the shop and went in. Went to the handicapped stall, put on the gloves and washed em in soap to ensure there was nothing on them. Caught a deuce I was dropping and shoved it in the jar they gave me.

Finished up, washed up, went to turn it in.

"Ok sir, has this sample been properly refrigerated?"
"Nope, its fresh."

About then the guy might've noticed the sample jar was a little warm (I did before I handed it over,) but he did look utterly disgusted.

So, what I'm saying is; if you can turn it in in person, its much more fun than mailing it off.
Click to expand...
I did something similar with a post vasectomy sample. That had to be in their in like 30 minutes after handling and I was more than 30 minutes away. So they got it 3 minutes old.
 
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Reactions: Josh
Jehannum said:
You could cut out the middle man and just shit on @august's porch.
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giphy.gif
 
Mr. Argumentor said:
I had a G.I. issue once while I was active duty. They requested a stool sample, gave me the whole spiel about safely doing it, refrigeration of the sample if done at home, etc. As an aside they told me I could do it day of and not refrigerate.

Not wanting shit in my fridge, even in an airtight container, I opted for that.

Next day I took a break from work, grabbed some rubber gloves from the shop and went in. Went to the handicapped stall, put on the gloves and washed em in soap to ensure there was nothing on them. Caught a deuce I was dropping and shoved it in the jar they gave me.

Finished up, washed up, went to turn it in.

"Ok sir, has this sample been properly refrigerated?"
"Nope, its fresh."

About then the guy might've noticed the sample jar was a little warm (I did before I handed it over,) but he did look utterly disgusted.

So, what I'm saying is; if you can turn it in in person, its much more fun than mailing it off.
Click to expand...
tbh after working in a lab for like 10-15 years, being uh oh upsettios about a steaming shit sample is weaksauce. there's way worse samples one can receive.
 
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