Thread All new 2019 Super Duper Sperm thread!

[kiwi]

I keep having dreams about you weirdos. Even in my head @APRIL is all about crazy stuff.

 

[Petunia]

We definitely aren’t related.

how is that possible

 

[ZRH]

find my device disables silent mode.

Then idk, the location turned off and the battery kept getting lower. Also no one tried to use any of my debit cards. So I'm pretty sure my wallet is still stuffed in the padding under the seat somewhere.

There are so many places to abandon a car around there where no one will notice it for months though. I'm just so pissed, like I have no ID, no library card, no AAA card, my concealed carry permit, my security guard permit, my spo ID... It's gonna take months to get everything replaced.

 

[ZRH]

so you left the keys in the car.....?

Push to start. Key fob was in my pocket, car was off. I was standing right behind it.

 

[kiwi]

how is that possible

I don’t understand the question but I suppose I’ll play along.

Right?!?! We practicality look like sisters.

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

I think you're probably the only person here as white as me @kiwi . I have no need for a DNA thing but theres 0 chance I have any non white European genes in me.

 

[ZRH]

I think you're probably the only person here as white as me @kiwi . I have no need for a DNA thing but theres 0 chance I have any non white European genes in me.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

I think you're probably the only person here as white as me @kiwi . I have no need for a DNA thing but theres 0 chance I have any non white European genes in me.

I tell my kid when hes outside that he has to wear a shirt since his pasty-ness could reflect enough sunlight to blind a pilot and cause an airplane to crash

 

[fly]

I keep having dreams about you weirdos. Even in my head @APRIL is all about crazy stuff.

Mine too

 

[fly]

Holy shit. @APRIL and I were poll workers yesterday. Thankfully there were no real crazies, but my back is not great for standing 12+ hours a day. old+++++++++++

 

[tre]

oh i have no doubt you worked the pole

 

[Jehannum]

My clever plan to order a Tungsten Carbide ring off Amazon to replace the wedding ring I lost blew up in my face when @AppleTurkey found my actual ring under the couch last night.

 

[Domon]

I keep having dreams about you weirdos. Even in my head @APRIL is all about crazy stuff.

we obviously need detailed accounting of these for our amusement.

 

[Domon]

My clever plan to order a Tungsten Carbide ring off Amazon to replace the wedding ring I lost blew up in my face when @AppleTurkey found my actual ring under the couch last night.

why was it ever off your finger? Knowing you its because your finger fell off or something.

 

[Jehannum]

why was it ever off your finger? Knowing you its because your finger fell off or something.

Because I've dropped 60 pounds since my wedding and you can't resize a tungsten carbide ring.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

Because I've dropped 60 pounds since my wedding and you can't resize a tungsten carbide ring.

Sure you can. Smack it with a hammer a bunch. Gather the bits, pour into 3D printed mold, pour in epoxy.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

OR

Just hit your finger with the hammer, itll swell up real good, then the ring will fit again

 

[Domon]

Sure you can. Smack it with a hammer a bunch. Gather the bits, pour into 3D printed mold, pour in epoxy.

i read this as if you were talking about his finger.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

i read this as if you were talking about his finger.

Knowing his propensity for smacking his phalanges with hammers, he has already tried this.

 

[tre]

Just wedge the next fingernail that falls off in there to keep it secure