Baby 5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents

[Duke]

I'm coming after you, mister.

Wait...that could be taken wrong.

And just now, fly got a boner just thinking about the implications.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

I think apes just tired of being bullied by the 5 year olds when she goes to the playground

 

[dbzeag]

Look. I am going to see family next week and this is ALL I WILL HEAR. How ddarrreee you peopppllleeee!!!!

You could just tell them "I hate kids. I hate everything about them. I hate kids' parents, too. Parenting is terrible. See what kind of job YOU guys did?"

The questions will cease immediately. I told my parents this, before I came out, and they stopped pestering me about parenting.

 

[my little brony]

Wait...that could be taken wrong.

dave is a considerate lover, I'm sure he'll come after you instead

 

[dbzeag]

dave is a considerate lover, I'm sure he'll come after you instead

I never come, so that's not a worry

 

[gee]

List of people who need to shut the fuck up with their opinions:

- atheists
- dog owners
- non-parents
- democrats
- buy local/organic types
- stoners
- hell, pretty much every other liberal group. WE GET IT. YOU'RE LIBERAL. STOP MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD.

 

[dbzeag]

List of people who need to shut the fuck up with their opinions:

- atheists
- dog owners
- non-parents
- democrats
- buy local/organic types
- stoners
- hell, pretty much every other liberal group. WE GET IT. YOU'RE LIBERAL. STOP MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD.

Stop being bad then.

 

[Petunia]

Someone here (you know who you are) once told me that April can't have kids therefore she fronts like she doesn't want any but in reality God gave her dud ovaries

I'm sorry for your loss Apez

 

[APRIL]

List of people who need to shut the fuck up with their opinions:

- atheists
- dog owners
- non-parents
- democrats
- buy local/organic types
- stoners
- hell, pretty much every other liberal group. WE GET IT. YOU'RE LIBERAL. STOP MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD.

Wow, this posts is mostly me.

 

[APRIL]

Someone here (you know who you are) once told me that April can't have kids therefore she fronts like she doesn't want any but in reality God gave her dud ovaries

I'm sorry for your loss Apez

That would be fucking awesome then so I wouldn't' have to worry about taking birth control.

 

[Coqui]

List of people who need to shut the f*ck up with their opinions:

- atheists
- dog owners
- non-parents
- democrats
- buy local/organic types
- stoners
- hell, pretty much every other liberal group. WE GET IT. YOU'RE LIBERAL. STOP MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD.

Republicans can share their opinions?

 

[Coqui]

That would be f*cking awesome then so I wouldn't' have to worry about taking birth control.

We know you're on BC because of your mood swings

 

[gee]

Republicans can share their opinions?

Provided they're sharing them with Jesus, sure.

 

[gee]

Seriously though, there's few things I can't stand more than someone who looks down on others because they've got some sort of "more enlightened opinion" on subjective matters.

 

[Petunia]

That would be fucking awesome then so I wouldn't' have to worry about taking birth control.

Apparently that's a lie too ..,.

 

[Domon]

List of people who need to shut the fuck up with their opinions:

- atheists
- dog owners
- non-parents
- democrats
- buy local/organic types
- stoners
- hell, pretty much every other liberal group. WE GET IT. YOU'RE LIBERAL. STOP MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK BAD.

You forgot vegans/vegetarians
And conspiracy theorists (vaccines kill kids! Doctors are harvesting your organs!)

 

[Domon]

Someone here (you know who you are) once told me that April can't have kids therefore she fronts like she doesn't want any but in reality God gave her dud ovaries

I'm sorry for your loss Apez

that was oddly vitriolic and not fitting to the conversation.

 

[dbzeag]

Seriously though, there's few things I can't stand more than someone who looks down on others because they've got some sort of "more enlightened opinion" on subjective matters.

Oh the irony.

 

[itburnswhenipee]

You forgot vegans/vegetarians
And conspiracy theorists (vaccines kill kids! Doctors are harvesting your organs!)

My theory is that all those crazy-haha-cukoo conspiracy nuts are actually deliberate plants tasked with poisoning the discourse and robbing those with legitimate ideas of credibility.

 

[Peppers]

Apparently that's a lie too ..,.

Kiki!! You're suppose to be on a camping trip!! Quit playing on the interwebs and go catch some fish!! Hunt a bear with a swiss army knife!! Build a raft and take your son out on the lake!!! Enjoy the outdoors!!!!!!!!!