Understanding your life roles

April25 said:
1. girlfriend
2. fluffer
3. daughter
4. feltcher
5. doggie mom
6. student
7. sleeper
8. employee
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I've seen your "roles" and here they are

ChikkenNoodul said:
Yep, 999 999 999

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b_sinning said:
My wife's parents was mad at her for doing some of the same stupid stuff she was doing as a teenager. Such as being messy. She's a mom and if you want to raise your kid not to be messy you have to live by example. So they decided to force her to be more organized like they would have when she was a teenager. The problem is they should have interacted with me because she's my wife before she's their daughter. They crossed boundaries that they refused to see. My wife should have cut off communication with them because it was hurting my family but she saw her self as their daughter before being my wife. We've sort of fixed all of this but it made me realize how important it is to know your roles and the order you agreed to live them in.
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that's a great call btw...being completely serious and honest for once this week but now I shall diverge yet again

hit her dad up for a dowry while you're rockin' it bro...maybe it's too late to get a couple head of calf and some "magic" plants though
 
tre said:
I find the roles' priorities change constantly throughout the day based on what's happening in the moment and I react and prioritize those roles accordingly.
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Very good point. I agree wholeheartedly. Sometimes my kids need me and they have to be number one, but then other times Knyte needs to be that position and less often but it still happens, our other family members need to be there.
 
kiwi said:
Edit: For those that do have parent first, it may be easier for you to understand why they have such a hard time letting their children go when they get married. If all your life your kids have been number one, then all of a sudden, the importance of their daughter/son role changes, it might not be so easy for you to let go or your positioning. When does Parent fall down the list and Spouse move into the number one slot? I'm not trying to criticize anyone or tell them their positions are wrong, just trying to give a different point of view on why our parents act the way they do sometimes. I've heard of people getting a divorce after their kids are grown because they no longer have anything in common because the spouse role was neglected while kids were growing up and they simply grew too far apart.
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did you hear about the woman who got flamed because she put her husband first? these were her points, and they are extremely important, but many do not understand these points. the whole world was so ticked at her for stating what needs to be talked about. her point, i think, was that she is IN love with her husband and LOVES her children. she just understood that one has to take care of the relationship that got her the kids in the first place.
i do not argue with you at all here, kiwi, and i think your points are valid. it still does not change my position that i am a mother first and foremost. maybe it's because they are young and need so much, and maybe it's unhealthy, the fierce, suffocating love i have for each of them, but that's the way it is right now for me.
 
Thorn Bird said:
did you hear about the woman who got flamed because she put her husband first? these were her points, and they are extremely important, but many do not understand these points. the whole world was so ticked at her for stating what needs to be talked about. her point, i think, was that she is IN love with her husband and LOVES her children. she just understood that one has to take care of the relationship that got her the kids in the first place.
i do not argue with you at all here, kiwi, and i think your points are valid. it still does not change my position that i am a mother first and foremost. maybe it's because they are young and need so much, and maybe it's unhealthy, the fierce, suffocating love i have for each of them, but that's the way it is right now for me.
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c-a-n-t b-r-e-a-t-h-e

:p
 
I think we are all constantly re-prioritizing based on what is needed at the time. I don't have kids, but I would look at that as my top priority if I did have any. Other than that, my husband, family, work, friends, or self can all change order for most important based on what is needed at the time. Also, sometimes work becomes the priority because it will benefit my husband, or I will need some time for my self because it's in everyone's best interest (I can get a little nutty sometimes). It's a balancing act, but I try hard to consider what is best for the whole before deciding on a course of action everyday.
 
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Being a father first means that I have to do the things required to be good at the job. I have to maintain my health, maintain my marriage, pay bills, clean, build a good home life, and punish my kid when he's bad even when I don't want to. Too many people take the job without understanding all that.



Balancing all these roles is very very hard. I was fighting so hard to hold on to a job that demanded more time than I had to give and a family so I started cutting out things to make it work. I would just start sleeping less, let my diet slip to whatever was fast and eventually due to stress and me being an idiot my health started suffering. My family means more to me than anything so I've started reworking my life. First by changing positions.
 
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b_sinning said:
Being a father first means that I have to do the things required to be good at the job. I have to maintain my health, maintain my marriage, pay bills, clean, build a good home life, and punish my kid when he's bad even when I don't want to. Too many people take the job without understanding all that.



Balancing all these roles is very very hard. I was fighting so hard to hold on to a job that demanded more time than I had to give and a family so I started cutting out things to make it work. I would just start sleeping less, let my diet slip to whatever was fast and eventually due to stress and me being an idiot my health started suffering. My family means more to me than anything so I've started reworking my life. First by changing positions.
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:eek: See? Now why can't people who are planning divorce have this thought process?
 
1. Student
2. Friend
3. Long-Distance Boyfriend
4. employee
5. son

When (if) I get married, Husband will be first on the list though.
 
I'd have to say my first priority is my husband. I don't have kids, but I can see how having kids would make one want to rethink the first position. As a person without kids, I can rationalize that the partnership between husband and wife trumps the role of the parent as the parents are a team and as I see it, need to be united as almost a singular entity in order to best benefit the kids.

This view may change if we become parents because rationalizations often do change when emotions are involved.
 
Wren said:
1. Student
2. Friend
3. Long-Distance Boyfriend
4. employee
5. son

When (if) I get married, Husband will be first on the list though.
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Ok, call me completely niave and n00b, but you are homosexual?

Damn, my schtick is rendered useless now :(
 
zengirl said:
I'd have to say my first priority is my husband. I don't have kids, but I can see how having kids would make one want to rethink the first position. As a person without kids, I can rationalize that the partnership between husband and wife trumps the role of the parent as the parents are a team and as I see it, need to be united as almost a singular entity in order to best benefit the kids.

This view may change if we become parents because rationalizations often do change when emotions are involved.
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If Lulu doesn't count as a kid then the world is quite askew.
 
Dharma1521 said:
If Lulu doesn't count as a kid then the world is quite askew.
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Yeah, Lu counts as a kid as much as I can count another living thing as a child. :lol: Still I know that Ryan is the other half of me, and without him I'd be a total mess.
 
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