"Are....you......going.....to.......drink..........that?" Smileynev gasped weakly, much like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle, referring to a still steaming can of Mountain Dew topped with a fluffy dollop of Drool's Buttfinger icing.
Said can, moments before had fallen with a neutered thud onto the steel grate floor of Sarcasmo's absurdly immaculate apartment. Drool was masterfully performing his latest poo-stunt whilst riding Sarc's roller coaster: the Iron Age Vending Machine.
"Nnnnnnng, ahhh, A7!" Another object, this time a corn bedazzled packet of Mr. Natures Nuts, slapped onto Smileynev's apparent companion's mirrored dome as if it were one of those gummy hand things from gumball dispensers in the 80's.
"Grr, of course not you ninny, I'd sooner be forced to drink from April's firehose again." growled theac, from his cocked and locked position facing 'nev on the floor. His teeth, gnashing as he spoke, reminded 'nev of that documentary on gay architects he watched on Lifetime.
"Oh man" 'nev, sounding better after downing the 'Dew in one gulp "I sure hope some cheddarwurst plops out soon, I'm wasting away here"
"Oh can it you revolting mendicant, look at the mess you made" pointed out theac, referring to the "snake skins" littering the grate under 'nev, the sloughed off skin resulting from the hours of wookie porn reflected in theac's glasses "at least you don't have to look at you"
"You'd look so much happier with kitty ears, you know" countered 'nev "how long have we been chained here anyhow?"
"Six days, seventeen hours, and twenty-two seconds of having to smell your buttersweat hell" muttered theac.
"Hey wow, they let you keep your watch? I smuggled in my gameboy, but I can't reach it..." 'nev wandered
"Of course not you buffoon, I've constructed an atomic clock using RFID tags from packaging and Drool's discarded ass hairs" theac, barely getting the words out before the diesel powered posterior puncher clattered to life and began it's terrible and thankless job of piercing planet diamond ass.
"Just as well, I'd almost rather be here then stuck in that tiny cubicle getting screamed at all day by angry people." pondered 'nev.
"Would you two shut the hell up already? You'll be forced to gargle waw's fro if you keep messing with my groove" Shouted Sarcasmo angrily. Sarc was wearing kiki's skin, and riding a VERY passed out waw's member, held up with popsicle sticks and baling wire. On the coffee table in front of him, a Tinychat session was in full swing. Little squares, too difficult to make out from their vantage point, both 'nev and theac shuddered to themselves at what ODS, tre, flapril and p|ot must be doing accross the tubes.
"Hey....." fly's distinctively sassy voice called out above the din of random people shorting their own sheets "does anyone have any more cats they can send over....we got six in, and there might be room for more, but we ran out" Fly being the founding member of cat ass huffers international. Not that they huff cat's asses (Though they might) but that they huff cats with their asses, it doesn't make any sense, even if you see it in person. Let's just say it involves traffic cones, leaf blowers, and canola oil.
"Hey, FU buddy" cackled Drool as a melted Mars bar flopped onto Sarcasmo's laptop, spattering the camera with mal fromage.
The rollercoaster jerked to a halt, sending Drool onto the pile of drugged forum members Sarcasmo was keeping next to the ficus, the lights went out, the laptop dimmed as it went to battery power, and the diesel assram seemingly got louder as it became the only sound in the room other than the persistent rubbing of a wookie taint induced crimson rocket. Someone must have cut the power, or the 300kw per hour to run the rollercoaster resulted in late payments etc.
"Helloooooooo boys" hissed an eerily familiar voice, the silouhette of a man in a kilt appearing in the doorway "I've brought craft brew and cock fu"
*to be continued*
*maybe*
*probably not*