Wrapping up 2006

B

BeerAd

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Aug 15, 2005
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So since I didnt want my depression leaking out into other threads like it just did I am making a BeeRad is pissed off at the world thread. Do not read this unless you want to add in some shitty things that happened this year.


For everything that is good this year it seems that I have just been beat to shit with bad things. Whether it be anywhere from tire blowouts all the way up to the loss of countless friends my year has just been horrible. As it comes to a close I found out Friday night that my grandfather was in worse shape than we had thought. I stayed home Friday night because I was to depressed to leave the house and didnt want to bring others down. Saturday I was feeling a little better so I went out and had a wonderful night with some close friends, it helped tremendously. Sunday I head over to my parents house to see how my mother is holding up and give my support/take some too. We then find out that he only has about 2 days to live and my moms flight tomorrow might be to late, pray that she can at least say goodbye.

So this has been pretty much the norm for my 2006. In January I lost my best friend in a car accident leaving my other close friend paralyzed. In Feb. I lost another friend (23 years old) who died in his sleep from a brain anurism(sp). March my good friend Mark is mad at his SO and is racing home while she follows behind in her car, hits a tree, dies while she is trying to open the crumpled door to his car. About 3 more old friends pass throughout the year but I couldnt take anymore funerals so I just stopped going.

All year I have been fighting a financial battle and cannot seem to get my head above water with any of my bills. As I am finding out about my grandpa last night I am opening a letter from my bank saying they are repo'ing my car tomorrow. I am only 10 days late on payments (after I make one today) but they dont care because this isnt the first time. So tomorrow it looks as if I will be car-less which sucks even more. Even if they give me time I wont be able to pay because I will be in Canada for my papa's funeral.


Alright I am done bitching about this shit year and just want it to be over with. I posted this because I dont have many people I can talk to about this stuff and just needed to say it. I am not looking for a woah is me or any pity because life does this shit. Just wanted to let off some steam and get some things out that I normally cant talk about.

Good things - Shamy wedding, Doms wedding, John and Lynets wedding, Dave getting home from Afghan, being alive.
 
BeeRad said:
So since I didnt want my depression leaking out into other threads like it just did I am making a BeeRad is pissed off at the world thread. Do not read this unless you want to add in some shitty things that happened this year.


For everything that is good this year it seems that I have just been beat to shit with bad things. Whether it be anywhere from tire blowouts all the way up to the loss of countless friends my year has just been horrible. As it comes to a close I found out Friday night that my grandfather was in worse shape than we had thought. I stayed home Friday night because I was to depressed to leave the house and didnt want to bring others down. Saturday I was feeling a little better so I went out and had a wonderful night with some close friends, it helped tremendously. Sunday I head over to my parents house to see how my mother is holding up and give my support/take some too. We then find out that he only has about 2 days to live and my moms flight tomorrow might be to late, pray that she can at least say goodbye.

So this has been pretty much the norm for my 2006. In January I lost my best friend in a car accident leaving my other close friend paralyzed. In Feb. I lost another friend (23 years old) who died in his sleep from a brain anurism(sp). March my good friend Mark is mad at his SO and is racing home while she follows behind in her car, hits a tree, dies while she is trying to open the crumpled door to his car. About 3 more old friends pass throughout the year but I couldnt take anymore funerals so I just stopped going.

All year I have been fighting a financial battle and cannot seem to get my head above water with any of my bills. As I am finding out about my grandpa last night I am opening a letter from my bank saying they are repo'ing my car tomorrow. I am only 10 days late on payments (after I make one today) but they dont care because this isnt the first time. So tomorrow it looks as if I will be car-less which sucks even more. Even if they give me time I wont be able to pay because I will be in Canada for my papa's funeral.


Alright I am done bitching about this shit year and just want it to be over with. I posted this because I dont have many people I can talk to about this stuff and just needed to say it. I am not looking for a woah is me or any pity because life does this shit. Just wanted to let off some steam and get some things out that I normally cant talk about.

Good things - Shamy wedding, Doms wedding, John and Lynets wedding, Dave getting home from Afghan, being alive.
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geesh, lets see i almost died do to a mishap on the cbr, where i hit the ground at 130ish, it burst into flames and rolled over me.....

then i had 6 fellow riders die in the same weekend, 4 in one day....
that was just one weekend, there were quite a few more.

a very good friend of mine was killed in iraq the day before his birthday, he was turning 24, he just got married and they were expecting their first child..

i was told my back was mangled....

i retired from stunting.......

i got stuck being a groomsman in the shamy wedding....:eek: :p

good start bro?

lets hope next year will be much better!
 
My radiator developed a 4-inch crack this weekend. While I was driving around my AC was pumping a rancid pancakes-and-syrup smell into my face. Opened the hood when I got home and both the radiator and reservoir were bone dry. Good thing my engine didn't blow up. Took it in this morning to have it fixed, and now I'm wondering whether I should just trade it in for a new 4-door vehicle. Maybe an Acura TSX or TL. Silver, of course.

On top of that my favorite dress shoes smell. I can smell the malodorous reek of my feet while I type this. I was going to go up to Subway upstairs for lunch, but I don't want anyone below me on the escalator to pass out or make fun of me.

To make matters worse I think I'm tired of my girlfriend. We've been going out for a while but I'm just not into it for some reason, which is stupid because she's good looking, funny, and nice. And her name is April, so when we have sex I can say things like "Swallow all of it, April" while thinking of Fly's April, and I don't have to worry about her getting mad.
 
My mom attempted suicide three times this year. She spent the first half of the year committed in a psychiatric hospital undergoing electric shock thearapy, her husband had a heart attack and I spent my time driving back and forth between St. Louis to take care of her and Chicago to work, where I almost lost my job for having taken so much time off to tend to my mother because my 2 dead beat brothers who live 20 minutes away from her just couldn't be bothered to help.

I've spent most of the year sick, I lost my hearing for a little bit because of fluid build up which was a result of several infections in my head. :lol: I've also gained 20 pounds.

My puppy has eaten 9 gaping holes in the carpet in my apartment where she is banned, resulting in me having to pay for the carpet to be completely replaced when I move out... and she isn't even supposed to be there in the first place.

Aside from my mom and the brothers I live near up here I haven't spoken with any of my family since I went to visit them in September of 2005. This includes my father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.. etc.

And I still haven't found Jesus, which pisses me off because I wasn't the one who lost him in the first place.

On the other hand, my mom has recovered and the ECT seems to have really worked, she hasn't been this normal in about 20 years, my step dad is recovering from his heart attack and is back at work, I just got over a cold in a week without it developing into anything serious, my puppy turned a year old on Friday and has stopped eating the carpets, and I've got the nicest guy in the world to spend the rest of my life with...

and we're eloping in 2 weeks.

:heart:
 
beerad, no words will fix your hurt or bring back your friends. i hope that time is good to you. i do not believe that you are given more than you are capable of handling -- you just have to choose to do it. keep your strength and chin up, and push through. all this can make you a kinder, wiser, respecting man if you allow it.

:heart: and hugs to you.
 
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it's been a shitty year indeed. i really can't talk openly about most of it due to ongoing investigations and litigations and whatnot. i lost a lot of what was very important to me this year, which forced me to find new important things amidst all this conflict. starting school and being in classes scares the pants off of me, especially while trying to work 50 hours a week in a lab that pays me for 40. i haven't taken a lick of my vacation time this year, and i have 40 hours that won't carry over to 07. i've developed allergy problems, and have convinced myself i'm probably allergic to everything. being sick makes me nervous and upset, and it's been bad for 2 months now.

but i have the best best friend in the world, the bestest boyfriend ever who became my hero and my family's hero this year, and a wii. i suppose life can't be that bad.
 
Thanks Thorney, I know that it is life and just deal with it brick by brick. I just really needed to let out a sigh cause I havent had time to this year. I find that the only time I ever get to let it out is when I am home alone at 4am which is the worst possible time.
 
BeeRad said:
Thanks Thorney, I know that it is life and just deal with it brick by brick. I just really needed to let out a sigh cause I havent had time to this year. I find that the only time I ever get to let it out is when I am home alone at 4am which is the worst possible time.
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but this is part of dealing with it...letting it out. it's ok and very healthy to do, and i'm glad you trusted us with your pain. that's not an easy thing to do. you should really try to work on this, because if you haven't had time to reflect and work through it, the longer you keep it within, the more it could possibly hurt you. i can't imagine having a year that you have had (or some of you others,) and i can't imagine not being able to release all that you must have inside. keep your soul healthy, bee. :heart:
 
zengirl said:
On the other hand, my mom has recovered and the ECT seems to have really worked, she hasn't been this normal in about 20 years, my step dad is recovering from his heart attack and is back at work, I just got over a cold in a week without it developing into anything serious, my puppy turned a year old on Friday and has stopped eating the carpets, and I've got the nicest guy in the world to spend the rest of my life with...

and we're eloping in 2 weeks.

:heart:
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This gives me hope that I will see the silver lining sometime hopefully in the near future.

Oh and if I am not in Canada I will be going into court Thursday to watch Richie fight a 20 year sentence of involuntary manslaughter. I was suppose to be on the stand but it turns out his lawyer doesnt think it will help to much. After Pat died we were all pretty upset but noone blamed Richie directly for it, now Pats family wants blood. Richie is already Paralyzed and now they are trying to put him in jail, the plea bargin was 15 years.
 
It feels good to talk about it because it has just been something I havent been able to do. The only people I have that I can openly talk to about it have moved away during the year. Others that I can talk to are in a different part of there lives and I dont wanna trouble them.
 
BeeRad said:
This gives me hope that I will see the silver lining sometime hopefully in the near future.

Oh and if I am not in Canada I will be going into court Thursday to watch Richie fight a 20 year sentence of involuntary manslaughter. I was suppose to be on the stand but it turns out his lawyer doesnt think it will help to much. After Pat died we were all pretty upset but noone blamed Richie directly for it, now Pats family wants blood. Richie is already Paralyzed and now they are trying to put him in jail, the plea bargin was 15 years.
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You know, anyone can look at the events in their lifetime and say they had a shitty run of it... at the same time they can look and say how lucky they were. It's just a matter of how you want to look at it and what you choose to hold onto.

I choose to hold onto the good things because there isn't any point being miserable, it serves no purpose and it just plain doesn't feel good.

It's good to look back at the rough times so you can measure the progress you've made forward and see how far you've come. That's the only real purpose revisiting the past has.
 
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