- UF Joke Thread -

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
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Houston
Q: What did the pirate get when he went to china?
A: SARRRRRS

Q: Whats black and blue and hates sex?
A: A rape victum.

[20:53:32] fly: how did captain hook die?
[20:53:36] fly: jock itch
[20:54:10] fly: what do you get when you cross a bird with an electric fan?
[20:54:18] fly: shredded tweet
[20:54:23] April23: CORNY!!!!
Crude, corney or clever... post your favorites, or whatever you can find at lotsofjokes.com (sigh)

Thanks in advance.

Enjoy.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
[20:55:34] fly: termite walks into a bar, says "Hey is the bar tender here?"
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
What's funnier than a dead baby in a trash can?

A dead baby in two trash cans.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
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Houston
whats more fun than nailing a dead baby to the wall?
Tearing it off.

Whats pink, bubbly, and taps on the glass?
A baby in a microwave.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
So these two peanut was walking down the street in some Ghetto.
One was a salted.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
what do you call a black man flying a plane?



















a pilot you fu*king racist
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
Q: What does a Big Mac and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: 40 Year old meat between 12 year old buns.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen
and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66.
He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady
says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming
the door, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!"
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
72,874
24,235
1,073
Steam
mattressfish
A lepur walks into a bar, orders a drink. as the bartender is pouring it, he pukes in the drink. The lepur says, 'what you've never seen a lepur before?' Bartender says, 'Its not that, its the guy next to you dipping his cracker in your arm.'
 

fly

Osharts 11
Oct 1, 2004
72,874
24,235
1,073
Steam
mattressfish
Whats black, white, red all over, and cant get through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
A man out shopping bought some new condoms. When he got home his wife who noticed the brand -
"Olympic condoms? - What makes them so special ?" she asked.

"There are three colours", he replied, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asked.
"Gold of course", said the man.

"Really." she said "Why don't you wear Silver - it would be nice if you came second for a change."
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
103,228
37,917
1,823
Houston
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.