Tuesday, glorious Tuesday

why_ask_why said:
let them catch you in "the act" even if you have to play a porn behind closed doors to simulate it...voila, no more pop-ins :fly:
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I wish it were that easy. That's the kind of thing they are looking for though. Premarital sex, drinking and staying out late or not coming home at all ........ they look for reasons to crawl up my ass and nest. I am not kidding when I say they treat me like I am 14. But, they do pay my electric bill, water bill, cable and internet bills, and my paycheck so they believe they have earned the right (and they probably have).
 
Bubbles said:
I wish it were that easy. That's the kind of thing they are looking for though. Premarital sex, drinking and staying out late or not coming home at all ........ they look for reasons to crawl up my ass and nest. I am not kidding when I say they treat me like I am 14. But, they do pay my electric bill, water bill, cable and internet bills, and my paycheck so they believe they have earned the right (and they probably have).
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You definitely need to get a new job and rent your own apartment.
 
Bubbles said:
I work for my parents and I rent from my parents. I am 25 years old and they show up at my house whenever they want. Lately my mother has started sleeping there. They follow me and have to know my every move. They use my job as leverage to control me. I think about moving and getting a new job everyday. But where would I go? They have made it so that I really don't believe I can make it on my own. Of course my Dad and my Step-mother a furious that they have done this to me. They believe that I am just as able as everyone else and they are my biggest support, but.............I'm scared to just move away from the cushion of money my mother and step-father use to control me and I can't explain why.

Sorry....that answer may have been more than you were looking for this early. :eek:
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If you don't have much in the way of bills, just up and leave :D

My uncle was in a similar situation for many years with my grandparents, he let them control his finances and help him out - now at almost 60 he's a financial disaster and pissed through the family fortune in a matter of months.
 
kiwi said:
You definitely need to get a new job and rent your own apartment.
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I agree. I didn't hate them nearly so much when I was a struggling waitress going to college. The lure of the money sucked me in and I have become accustomed to a certain way of life. I am finding it extreemely difficult to convince myself that I can do it on my own.
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
If you don't have much in the way of bills, just up and leave :D

My uncle was in a similar situation for many years with my grandparents, he let them control his finances and help him out - now at almost 60 he's a financial disaster and pissed through the family fortune in a matter of months.
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I'm afraid that's what will happen to me.
 
Bubbles said:
I work for my parents and I rent from my parents. I am 25 years old and they show up at my house whenever they want. Lately my mother has started sleeping there. They follow me and have to know my every move. They use my job as leverage to control me. I think about moving and getting a new job everyday. But where would I go? They have made it so that I really don't believe I can make it on my own. Of course my Dad and my Step-mother a furious that they have done this to me. They believe that I am just as able as everyone else and they are my biggest support, but.............I'm scared to just move away from the cushion of money my mother and step-father use to control me and I can't explain why.

Sorry....that answer may have been more than you were looking for this early. :eek:
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Have you ever actually TOLD them to leave you alone, using tact of course? Explain sternly but kindly that you are an adult and expect privacy. TELL them to quit stopping by unannounced, and TELL them you want and expect your own life. And find another job. You'd be surprised what you are capable of when you have no choice but to do it.

My parents have always been my financial cushion too. I think it may be part of having rich and unselfish folks. My parents mean well too, but enough quickly became enough. I didn't have heaps of confidence moving out either, but once I started paying my own bills and coming home to my own place every night, it was like heaven on earth. And it's really not that hard at all. Get a good job, and the rest is simply a matter of writing checks every month. How hard is it to drop a check in the mail, or go to Wal-Mart and buy groceries? That's all life is. Work, bills, and food.
 
Bubbles said:
I agree. I didn't hate them nearly so much when I was a struggling waitress going to college. The lure of the money sucked me in and I have become accustomed to a certain way of life. I am finding it extreemely difficult to convince myself that I can do it on my own.
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I can understand that feeling - in a different way, I'm bored of my job and want to do something different, but I'm feeling trapped by my own income/lifestyle.

I've let go of some things, but others are harder to get used not to having anymore....
 
Sarcasmo said:
Have you ever actually TOLD them to leave you alone, using tact of course? Explain sternly but kindly that you are an adult and expect privacy. TELL them to quit stopping by unannounced, and TELL them you want and expect your own life. And find another job. You'd be surprised what you are capable of when you have no choice but to do it.

My parents have always been my financial cushion too. I think it may be part of having rich and unselfish folks. My parents mean well too, but enough quickly became enough. I didn't have heaps of confidence moving out either, but once I started paying my own bills and coming home to my own place every night, it was like heaven on earth. And it's really not that hard at all. Get a good job, and the rest is simply a matter of writing checks every month. How hard is it to drop a check in the mail, or go to Wal-Mart and buy groceries? That's all life is. Work, bills, and food.
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That's just a depressing thought, you gotta at least throw sex in their too. :D
 
Bubbles said:
I wish it were that easy. That's the kind of thing they are looking for though. Premarital sex, drinking and staying out late or not coming home at all ........ they look for reasons to crawl up my ass and nest. I am not kidding when I say they treat me like I am 14. But, they do pay my electric bill, water bill, cable and internet bills, and my paycheck so they believe they have earned the right (and they probably have).
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Oh man... you really need to move out. You're 25, lady. If you don't do it now you're always going to be under someone's thumb.

/you did say you were 25, right? My memory isn't so good.
 
Sarcasmo said:
Have you ever actually TOLD them to leave you alone, using tact of course? Explain sternly but kindly that you are an adult and expect privacy. TELL them to quit stopping by unannounced, and TELL them you want and expect your own life. And find another job. You'd be surprised what you are capable of when you have no choice but to do it.
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All the fucking time. They are not good hearted folks though. Everytime I get to this place in my life they get really emotionally abusive. They do everything they can to convince me I am not worth much without their support. Even though I know it is probably not true.......they drive it home so much that I really am paralyzed by the fear of failure and of having to come crawling back to them. I was never happier in my life than when I was living alone 3 hours away and going to school and taking care of my bills. I'm not as young and brave as I was then.
 
kiwi said:
That's just a depressing thought, you gotta at least throw sex in their too. :D
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:fly: It's true though, huh? The same routine, day after day after day. I know God intended more of us than this, and sometimes I feel like apologizing to him that we aren't living up to our potential. "Sorry Big Papa, but I can't make the world a better place. I have to attend a deposition today, and then drop some stuff off at the dry cleaners after work."
 
Sarcasmo said:
:fly: It's true though, huh? The same routine, day after day after day. I know God intended more of us than this, and sometimes I feel like apologizing to him that we aren't living up to our potential. "Sorry Big Papa, but I can't make the world a better place. I have to attend a deposition today, and then drop some stuff off at the dry cleaners after work."
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That's not true though, you have a great opportunity to make the world a better place, you have an adorable little son to teach and raise, and if he grows up to be a productive part of society, you did a good job. But then my opinion is that this life is all about families.
 
Bubbles said:
All the fucking time. They are not good hearted folks though. Everytime I get to this place in my life they get really emotionally abusive. They do everything they can to convince me I am not worth much without their support. Even though I know it is probably not true.......they drive it home so much that I really am paralyzed by the fear of failure and of having to come crawling back to them. I was never happier in my life than when I was living alone 3 hours away and going to school and taking care of my bills. I'm not as young and brave as I was then.
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Again, the easiest thing you will ever do is find a good job and then an apartment and an autonomous life. It's not supposed to be that difficult. Marriage and kids and finding it within yourself to be happy are WAY more difficult than simply being on your own.

And trust me, 25 is not old. You have about 60 more years ahead of you, and that is a long, long time to live with yourself. I can't believe someone has actually convinced you you wouldn't be able to survive on your own. Seriously, start looking for a new job now. Don't tell anyone, just do it. When you find a good one, get the interview, and are accepted, you will realize you can do anything you want. It's so damn simple! Then find an apartment, sign the lease, and casually inform your parents you are moving out.

Voila. One life, free and clear.
 
kiwi said:
That's not true though, you have a great opportunity to make the world a better place, you have an adorable little son to teach and raise, and if he grows up to be a productive part of society, you did a good job. But then my opinion is that this life is all about families.
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Oh I know, I'm just being cynical and bitter again. My life IS all about my son. He's so damn sweet and kind and happy all the time he breaks my heart.
 
itburnswhenipee said:
That doesn't really solve the problem... it just shifts it.
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Sure it does. Get married. Find a husband that doesn't tolerate in-law crap. Move in together. Get a new job to cover the bills for yourself.
 
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