So, tell me about going to a wake...

eileenbunny said:
If there is an open casket and you are curious, it is okay to touch the body. In fact, when you are greiving it is pretty much okay to do whatever you want, at least that's what I've always assumed.
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I can tell you from experience that teabagging is not okay at a funeral. Nor is "OMG HE MOVED! HE'S ALIVE!".
 
Wake is just everyone gathering to make sure they are really dead and will not become a zombie. If he starts moving grab one of his fat big headed Aunts and shove her in his direction and run away fast as you can.
 
Fly: You said he died of a drug overdose, intentional overdose, what kind of drugs? Was this one of those people who you just knew something would happen to if they didn't change thier life?

That's so sad. My sincere condolences.
 
Candy said:
Fly: You said he died of a drug overdose, intentional overdose, what kind of drugs? Was this one of those people who you just knew something would happen to if they didn't change thier life?

That's so sad. My sincere condolences.
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I heard it was an intentional overdose, but I doubt that. This man had a tolerance for opiates and benzos that would kill a horse. I've seen him eat 4mg of xanax at once and look and sound completely normal.

So the levels in his body might have appeared to be intentional, when in reality it might not have been.
 
fly said:
I heard it was an intentional overdose, but I doubt that. This man had a tolerance for opiates and benzos that would kill a horse. I've seen him eat 4mg of xanax at once and look and sound completely normal.

So the levels in his body might have appeared to be intentional, when in reality it might not have been.
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Scorpy.jpg
 
eileenbunny said:
On a side note, because I feel like ranting, I think that asking the family if there is "anything you can do" is one of the most irritating thing people do at wakes. There isn't anything you can do. If you really want to do something, call the family in three months when they are still grieving but everyone else has forgotten about it and them.
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i've buried countless friends and relatives. having someone ask me if there's anything they can do to help is comforting, even if there's nothing they can do. when my grandmother died, i could barely function, and was on meds for a while to help me calm down. i'll never forget the kindness that my friends and other relatives exhibited when i needed them most, doing stuff from cooking and sharing notes with me to keeping me company until 3am some nights because i couldn't sleep. i knew that my grandmother was gone, and no one could do anything about that, but helping me cope and get back to normal life was something they could do. i'd gladly offer that kind of help and comfort to any of my friends and loved ones going through what i went through
 
F33nX said:
i've buried countless friends and relatives. having someone ask me if there's anything they can do to help is comforting, even if there's nothing they can do. when my grandmother died, i could barely function, and was on meds for a while to help me calm down. i'll never forget the kindness that my friends and other relatives exhibited when i needed them most, doing stuff from cooking and sharing notes with me to keeping me company until 3am some nights because i couldn't sleep. i knew that my grandmother was gone, and no one could do anything about that, but helping me cope and get back to normal life was something they could do. i'd gladly offer that kind of help and comfort to any of my friends and loved ones going through what i went through
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meds eh? go any extras?
 
fly said:
I heard it was an intentional overdose, but I doubt that. This man had a tolerance for opiates and benzos that would kill a horse. I've seen him eat 4mg of xanax at once and look and sound completely normal.

So the levels in his body might have appeared to be intentional, when in reality it might not have been.
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Thats scary. Do you know how much they speculate he took?
 
theacoustician said:
meds eh? go any extras?
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nope, i had tranqs for about two weeks, but my doctor didn't want me to stay on them so the script wasn't refillable. i had sleeping pills too, but i'd just hallucinate instead of sleeping so they're somewhere at my parents' house maybe.
 
Getting drunk is always a win. Usually an open bar.

I don't understand this talking about the dead person thing... I've been to a ton of wakes and we NEVER talked about the deceased. They're more like family reunions with free alcohol provided by the departed.
 
the ones i've been to, the religious backround of the person who has croaked determines what to expect. regardless, i've always worn a suit and tie and make a point to say hello to the family/close friends. a few of them, someone had a sermon or some such prepared and others were just an occasion to talk with people, nothing formal or prepared.
 
FlamingGlory said:
They're more like family reunions .
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I have been to too many of these in the last few years - It is extremely sad during the service. I thought of it almost like being tortured.

After the service getting together with mutual friends and family members to talk about the 'good times' was alittle more uplifting - trying to keep each others spirits up.

So sorry about your friend - this is such a horrible thing for you to have to go through.:(
 
F33nX said:
i've buried countless friends and relatives. having someone ask me if there's anything they can do to help is comforting, even if there's nothing they can do. when my grandmother died, i could barely function, and was on meds for a while to help me calm down. i'll never forget the kindness that my friends and other relatives exhibited when i needed them most, doing stuff from cooking and sharing notes with me to keeping me company until 3am some nights because i couldn't sleep. i knew that my grandmother was gone, and no one could do anything about that, but helping me cope and get back to normal life was something they could do. i'd gladly offer that kind of help and comfort to any of my friends and loved ones going through what i went through
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It's not the people that actually do stuff that bother me. The people that bring you food and stuff are totally cool and appreciated. When my dad died this one friend came over and did yard work for us all day. She was really great. Other people brought us food or just came by to be there if we needed someone to talk to. All that was great. Those are the kind of people that just do stuff to help without really being asked.

It's just the people that sort of ask if there is anything they can do without really intending to do anything that bug me. Or they really will do something if you ask, but in this sort of situation I never really know what I need or want.

For us though, the loneliest, most difficult period was after all the calls and condolences stopped coming. About two months after my dad died, people had moved on and expected us to as well. Of course, we move on with our lives, but it's still really difficult. That's when a kind word or a friend would have been most appreciated. I don't know if I'm explaining myself well here, but it's how I've noticed things go. I've known lots of death in my life and each time it's always the same.
 
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