So, tell me about going to a wake...
- Thread starter fly
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elpmis said:
Yeah the older I get the more I realize that A LOT of people don't REALLY FULLYaccept that death is just a natural part of life, and that it will happen to everyone eventually. I see death as a time of peace for the deceased, wither or not they are consciously aware of that peace who knows. Many people's ideal of Heaven is like a 'castle in the clouds' mentality to me. IMHO if you live life to it's fullest, then why does it matter so much if/when someone passes on to an afterlife?
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
If you go into a catholic church, whatever you do, dont wash your hands in that big bowl of water they have sitting out. They get all kinda pissed off at you.
Wtf.
Wtf.
Syrup Beaver
pants log
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
fly said:
Taking your dick out in church is a sin , duh.
Thats why the priests put the altar boys under their big billowy robes.
Syrup Beaver
pants log
Syrup Beaver
pants log
pets.com puppet ftwelpmis said:fly, if I were you I'd rock the terrance puppet and walk around narrating the event
Pandora said:
sure it's a natural part of life, but so is a human's want and need to grieve. i know that when someone goes, they are, what i'd like to think, going to a better place. i grieve for selfish reasons. for love, for loss, for what i'm not going to get to do with them anymore.
my friend was 27 when he died. he left behind a two-year-old son and a widow. i cried for the fact that heath would never see jacob grow. that jacob would never know his daddy. that mel was left by herself. that heath never bought the next thing on his list. he lived a great life, but he was young. it's great for him to be up there, and i'm happy for him, even jealous at times, but my tears are for the ones left without him, and that includes me.
i think it's completely healthy for someone to grieve. matter of fact, i find it very unhealthy if someone has absolutely no grief over someone they love dying.
elpmis said:
You don't have to die at an old age to live a full life. I've lost family members to accidents before, and prior to their death they had over 30 years to live life to it's fullest. Granted when a child dies it's hard to say they had a full life, but hopefully the time they did have in life was lived to it's fullest potential and that's what I believe people should try to focus on.
Thorn Bird said:
See but I don't think it's benifical or healthy to focus on what is lost when someone dies. When I've experienced death with my family and friends I tried to focus on the time that person had in life and celebrate that. There is nothing that can be done about what is lost, so I just don't see a point in dwelling on that. People die and deal with unfortunate circumstances every day, that is just a part of life. I'd rather focus my energy on thinking about what we have in life, not what we don't.
Pandora said:See but I don't think it's benifical or healthy to focus on what is lost when someone dies. When I've experienced death with my family and friends I tried to focus on the time that person had in life and celebrate that. There is nothing that can be done about what is lost, so I just don't see a point in dwelling on that. People die and deal with unfortunate circumstances every day, that is just a part of life. I'd rather focus my energy on thinking about what we have in life, not what we don't.
i definitely agree with this eventually, but i think when someone initially dies, it's very healthy to miss and grieve. to me, this allows for the process of love to go from grief into celebration. it's been a year and a half since heath died, and i joke with him, i tease him, i yell at him, and i love him. i feel the same from him in return. i can enjoy him now, where he is, but i had to allow myself time to think of him and long for him. i've always known i'll see him again, but i wanted him here, with me, so we could continue on together in the life we knew together. like i said, it's selfish, but it's natural, and it's...well, part of the circle of life, no matter how cheesy it sounds.
side note: my mother LOVES the fact that she KNOWS heath is up there, standing right in between two late packers football players, sweating nervously because of all the hell heath gave my mom about the packers.
still, if a friend of mine died in a car crash at 30 I would be greatly upset. Even if he/she lived their life to the fulliest, they could have lived their life to the fulliest for even longer. Who knows what they could have done in the next 30 some years, that's like living their life TWICE.Pandora said:
Wakes are an occasion for people to get together and freak out and cry while they think "Oh man, if this person could die, I'M GOING TO BE NEXT".
eileenbunny
Druish Princess
I've been to tons of these things on both the family side and the guest side. Just offer your condolences and hang out for a little while. Telling good stories about times you had with the departed is a good way to pass the time. Don't wear jeans and a t-shirt, but a tie isn't necessary. If there is an open casket and you are curious, it is okay to touch the body. In fact, when you are greiving it is pretty much okay to do whatever you want, at least that's what I've always assumed.
I think the weirdest part about the whole custom is standing around in a room with a dead body just sort of lying there. Dead people smell funny and look weird too. No matter how many times I do it, it's still disarming to suddenly glance up and see a dead person you used to know lying there not looking like themselves at all.
On a side note, because I feel like ranting, I think that asking the family if there is "anything you can do" is one of the most irritating thing people do at wakes. There isn't anything you can do. If you really want to do something, call the family in three months when they are still grieving but everyone else has forgotten about it and them.
I think the weirdest part about the whole custom is standing around in a room with a dead body just sort of lying there. Dead people smell funny and look weird too. No matter how many times I do it, it's still disarming to suddenly glance up and see a dead person you used to know lying there not looking like themselves at all.
On a side note, because I feel like ranting, I think that asking the family if there is "anything you can do" is one of the most irritating thing people do at wakes. There isn't anything you can do. If you really want to do something, call the family in three months when they are still grieving but everyone else has forgotten about it and them.