I solve problems - A job idea by KNYTE

Drool-Boy said:
I find the lack of pistol-whipping in your solution disturbing, sir.
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That could very easily fall under the "threatening family" part.

itburnswhenipee said:
Wouldn't it be way easier to just bring a bunch of milk and steaks along on the space-ship?
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Pfft, no. What kind of solution is that? Not a good one, I'll tell you that much.

Sarcasmo said:
Remember, no fire or gravity for cooking.
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Microwaves genius. :tard:

edit: Hibachi grill
 
KNYTE said:
That could very easily fall under the "threatening family" part.



Pfft, no. What kind of solution is that? Not a good one, I'll tell you that much.



Microwaves genius. :tard:
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I'm starting to think that you might not be as good at this problem solving as you'd like us to believe.
 
itburnswhenipee said:
I'm starting to think that you might not be as good at this problem solving as you'd like us to believe.
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Problem: itburns talks too much

Solution: Duct tape

What do you think of my problem solving powers now???

Haha, pwnt.
 
itburnswhenipee said:
Ok, smart guy. Find me a kosher Smithfield Ham.
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I thought at first that ham wasn't kosher, then Googled to make sure.

YOUR ATTEMPTS TO HALT MY PROBLEM SOLVING WILL NOT WORK!
 
Ok, Pop quiz hotshot:

You have a bomb up your ass, and the only way to get it out is for your wife to reach up there for you and retrieve it, but she thinks buttholes are "icky"
What do you do?
WHAT DO YOU DO?
 
KNYTE said:
I thought at first that ham wasn't kosher, then Googled to make sure.

YOUR ATTEMPTS TO HALT MY PROBLEM SOLVING WILL NOT WORK!
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Well, at least he checks his work.

Okay... how about this:

My lifelong dream of getting shitfaced with the pope on Night Train is about to come true, but I'm miles away from the ghetto and, consequently, cannot purchase any Night Train. Do I try to fool the pope by mixing grape juice and turpentine? Do I jack his popemobile and drive to the ghetto? What's the solution?
 
itburnswhenipee said:
Oh yeah... of only someone could invent a way to cook things without fire. Maybe if they ran electricity through some sort of resistant material that was also good at conducting heat. Naah... that's crazy talk. They'll just have to rub two steaks together in order to cook 'em.
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:lol:
 
itburnswhenipee said:
Well, at least he checks his work.

Okay... how about this:

My lifelong dream of getting shitfaced with the pope on Night Train is about to come true, but I'm miles away from the ghetto and, consequently, cannot purchase any Night Train. Do I try to fool the pope by mixing grape juice and turpentine? Do I jack his popemobile and drive to the ghetto? What's the solution?
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challenge the man..

Everyone knows the answer is "Buttsex"
 
Drool-Boy said:
Ok, Pop quiz hotshot:

You have a bomb up your ass, and the only way to get it out is for your wife to reach up there for you and retrieve it, but she thinks buttholes are "icky"
What do you do?
WHAT DO YOU DO?
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Salad tongs.
 
itburnswhenipee said:
Well, at least he checks his work.

Okay... how about this:

My lifelong dream of getting shitfaced with the pope on Night Train is about to come true, but I'm miles away from the ghetto and, consequently, cannot purchase any Night Train. Do I try to fool the pope by mixing grape juice and turpentine? Do I jack his popemobile and drive to the ghetto? What's the solution?
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Solution: I hit you with an arrow dart filled with sodium pentathol making you woozy and easy to convince of that I have brought the pope to have a drink with you. I then place you and "the pope" (who is actually a cleverly disguised Baboon) in the back of a rented Ryder truck, with windows painted on the side to give the appearance of a train car, and several cases of Peppermint Schnapps, then let things work themselves out naturally.

Oh wait..I misunderstood. Night Train was your preferred drink, not method of transportation. Ah well, my plan is better anyway.
 
KNYTE said:
Solution: I hit you with an arrow dart filled with sodium pentathol making you woozy and easy to convince of that I have brought the pope to have a drink with you. I then place you and "the pope" (who is actually a cleverly disguised Baboon) in the back of a rented Ryder truck, with windows painted on the side to give the appearance of a train car, and several cases of Peppermint Schnapps, then let things work themselves out naturally.

Oh wait..I misunderstood. Night Train was your preferred drink, not method of transportation. Ah well, my plan is better anyway.
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Ha! You couldn't do it! POPEWNED!
 
OK OK OK.. i want a turn

How do i stop dating PSYCHOTIC WOMEN WHO TAKE ALL MY SHIT AND KICK ME OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE..

i.e. where do i find a decent women who will love me and my kitties?

i'm gay, this wont matter
 
pa said:
OK OK OK.. i want a turn

How do i stop dating PSYCHOTIC WOMEN WHO TAKE ALL MY SHIT AND KICK ME OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE..

i.e. where do i find a decent women who will love me and my kitties?

i'm gay, this wont matter
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Try growing a dick and acting like a man. "Yo, psycho hose beast! Your money's on the dresser, chocolate. Now get the fuck out."
 
You're in a Santa suit. A sexy lil 7 year-old trollup hops on your lap. As you start to wood up, you realize its Easter. What do you do?
 
Knyte -
What kind of tech work do you do anyway? Would you relocate?
 
A, B, and C are to fight a three-cornered pistol duel. All know that A's chance of hitting his target is 0.3, C's is 0.5, and B never misses.

They are to fire at their choice of target in succession in the order A, B, C, cyclically (but a hit man loses further turns and is no longer shot at) until only one man is left.

What should A's strategy be?
 
i come home from work one day to find dr00l boy has broken into my house, smoked all my weed and pooped up my walls. the vast expenditure of poop has tired poor dr00l out, and he is lying in a foetal position, comatose, in the corner of the room. What do I do and how do I get stoned ??
 
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