So being jobless (but still for the time being getting paid) has given me some time to think lately, a dangerous passtime I know, but yesterday I had an epiphany:
What if I put an add in the paper that says "I solve problems, call me at *my phone number"
What kind of problems you ask? All kinds of problems I'd say.
Got a nasty employee who is your cousin and you don't want to fire them because you're also sleeping with them? Call me, I'll tell them not to let the door knob hit them on the way out, and that hard sex is not always good sex.
Have an issue with a ex-boy/girlfriend harassing you? I've got a .45 and a good shovel, I'm your man.
So you've got a man at the top of a high rise building threatening to jump if his wife doesn't stop having affairs? No problem, I'll either convince him that suicide is his only course, or I'll tell his estranged spouse to stop being a whore and do the right thing. Either way, you'll get closure.
Now good people of Useless I ask that you give me your opinions on this matter, and also give me mock-problem-scenarios for me to solve as practice.
Ready
Set
GO!
What if I put an add in the paper that says "I solve problems, call me at *my phone number"
What kind of problems you ask? All kinds of problems I'd say.
Got a nasty employee who is your cousin and you don't want to fire them because you're also sleeping with them? Call me, I'll tell them not to let the door knob hit them on the way out, and that hard sex is not always good sex.
Have an issue with a ex-boy/girlfriend harassing you? I've got a .45 and a good shovel, I'm your man.
So you've got a man at the top of a high rise building threatening to jump if his wife doesn't stop having affairs? No problem, I'll either convince him that suicide is his only course, or I'll tell his estranged spouse to stop being a whore and do the right thing. Either way, you'll get closure.
Now good people of Useless I ask that you give me your opinions on this matter, and also give me mock-problem-scenarios for me to solve as practice.
Ready
Set
GO!