So, you guys remember how when I was laid off my boss called me back a few days later and asked me to mail them a check for $5.60 for a package that I sent from the mail room? Well, this morning I got another reminder about it, my patience wore thin, and I responded with the following:
His email:
My response (this is no shens):
Proof that this is no shens on my part:
His email:
email from guy said:Last Name, Dave (GE Consumer Finance) to me, Travis <- He CC'd my old boss for some reason
More options Nov 28 (21 hours ago)
It has come to my attention that you still have an unpaid FedEx bill with GE. Please mail or drop off a check made out to GE Capital Financial for $5.60 as soon as possible. You have had more then adequate reminders to this request and we have not seen a response.
Dave Last Name
Facilities Manager
GE Corporate Payment Services
GE Capital Financial, Inc.
T 801-******
F 866-******
D 8*******
E [email protected]
www.geconsumerfinance.com
My response (this is no shens):
I'm funny said:Dave,
Thank you for your heartfelt and compassionate reminder that I had an exorbitant outstanding balance with the mail room. It pleases me greatly to see that even after two people part professional ways they can still remain casual friends and communicate with eachother with respect as individuals. My initial response to your reminder was to request that you to have the Indian that replaced Kevin and I pick up the tab, as he will likely spend his later years living like a king in his home country with money to spare. However, since that option is probably unrealistic, and also factoring in that GE has its own in-house collections department that will likely hound me to dying day, I will mail you a check this week for the requested amount. Forgive me for not paying at the time that my package was sent, but the mail room for some reason only takes checks, which I find archaic and crude by the way, and all I had with me that day was the very contemporary credit card and cash.
Yours truly (not in a gay way),
PS - This email was sent on recycled electrons (probably).
PPS - No animals were harmed in the creation or transmission of this email (Or even this week that I know of. I totally swerved to avoid hitting a dog on my way to work the other day though. You wouldn't believe this thing, it just ran out in the middle of the road while I was driving. I think it may have been trying to commit suicide because it buried a bone and forgot where it was, or had been drinking too much possibly. Or maybe it got into some chocolate which made it insane, kind of like when a human drinks a bunch of Nyquil, ever seen that? It's crazy, I'll say that much. Wait, I just realized this entire statement is false because my father-in-law went duck hunting over the weekend and killed several of them, which means some animals were harmed this week, which makes me a liar.
Damn. )
Proof that this is no shens on my part:
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