Thread If a djinn offered you a single tangible gift for Christmas, what would it be?
- Thread starter fly
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Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski
Clam whisperer
That's too bad. It's tough. I don't know his individual concerns or motivations, but I'll tell you this: part of you wants to avoid the child forever simply because it's easier to do so from an emotional standpoint. Steel your mind and let the scar tissue build up, or go through a profoundly sad situation every two weeks. It's almost like a survival instinct. You want to block it out and move on. I do this to a much lesser extent. I simply block it out in the days in between our scheduled visits.
I remember the days when my son was 3 and 4 and he would sob in the backseat on the drive back to his mom's house because he couldn't understand why he could never stay with me. That happened every time we were together. Our fun was always tempered by the knowledge that within 36-48 hours there would be tears and confusion. If you love your kid, it's torture. And it's exhausting. It would be so much easier to not have to go through that. And yet a parent who loves their kid never truly has that option of course. You want to go through it because you have to.
Our time together is much more complicated and expensive now, but that doesn't change anything except the planning involved. For example a one-way to see him is now 200 miles instead of 8. A Friday night round trip is now 400 miles instead of 16. A full weekend round trip is now 800 miles instead of 32. It's a lot more gas money, but I will never stop doing it. I don't give a shit about money in that sense.
Life is a funny thing. Sometimes I stop and consider how different my life is from what I always thought it would be. Then I try to imagine it 10 years from now, but I just pass out on the floor for a while.
The one thing that I'm really grateful for in all this is that Ghost is remaining very involved, the kids are back and forth between houses all week, seeing us both regularly. I think it's really helped them adjust a lot too. Any person that I end up with best be okay with living in Arizona for at least the next 10 years, cause we will both do anything possible to keep them close to both of us. I can't imagine being in Juli's situation and trying to work that out. 
While I'm still married, I do have a wife that travels quite a bit. She's currently on her 8th week away from us this year. It's rough for us, but it also makes me appreciate her so much more when she is here. Fortunately, I haven't been traveling for work this year so it makes it easier for the boy. Thankfully, we use skype, and he can see her and talk to her, which makes her being away a lot easier on him, which in turn makes it easier on me.
yarr, this has seriously been the worst year ever, with all the crap that's gone on. However, we've been travelling lots together, and enjoying the cottage a lot to, so you make up for the bad with the good, ya know?
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The one thing that I'm really grateful for in all this is that Ghost is remaining very involved, the kids are back and forth between houses all week, seeing us both regularly. I think it's really helped them adjust a lot too. Any person that I end up with best be okay with living in Arizona for at least the next 10 years, cause we will both do anything possible to keep them close to both of us. I can't imagine being in Juli's situation and trying to work that out.
Likewise.
Petunia
COVID POSITIVE FOREVER
your son is very lucky.
i wish my son had a father like you
he too cries when his dad drops him off. i personally dont understand why hes such a shitty dad, he was never like this when we were a family... so it boggles my fucking mind...
i feel bad for my little guy, but its ok, cuz thats just more of him for me
i try to do so much with him and have lots of fun and fill that horrible void i know he feels... i know that one day my son will look at me and thank me....
your son is very lucky.
i wish my son had a father like you
he too cries when his dad drops him off. i personally dont understand why hes such a sh*tty dad, he was never like this when we were a family... so it boggles my f*cking mind...
i feel bad for my little guy, but its ok, cuz thats just more of him for me
i try to do so much with him and have lots of fun and fill that horrible void i know he feels... i know that one day my son will look at me and thank me....
Part of the ages old "Parent's Lament" is that we tend to assume our children feel the same way we do, complete with the benefits (or hindrances) of decades worth of life experience. Thankfully I don't think my son had quite as many regrets about his young life as I did. That life is all he knew, and his tears were likely just the product of a child's ordinary, momentary frustration. I'm sure he was genuinely upset that we couldn't spend more time together, I just don't think he was traumatized by it. Kids aren't as fragile as we sometimes think.
I just don't want your son to think his father was a bad parent. And I hope that as he gets older his father will place greater value on their time together. It goes by in a hurry, and you will never get those moments or those memories back. Ever.
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Petunia
COVID POSITIVE FOREVER
fawk! I know.His dad just has diff priorities and sadly his son isn't one of them...
In a perfect world him and I would get along and he would have an active role in his life.. But that's just not the case. He let's down my son a lot.. For now kiko gets upset and quickly forgets. That's not going to last forever.. One day my ex will have to answer to his son.
I'm just gonna be the best mama ever. He deserves nothing less.
