WTF Which one of you butches is trying to hack my account?

augusttremulous said:
Oh, give him a break- don't you think if he WERE attracted it would be awkward to be like YEAH I LIKE THEM AUGUST BOOBS I WANNA MOTORBOAT EM AND ETC ETC ETC GENERAL EROTIC IMPROPRIETY ETC and then be like "oh, hey, august and ironman, wanna hang out, go hiking alone in the woods together, nbd?"
Especially considering ironman hates on anyone from the internet, particularly those who were around for my more lewd and lascivious cleavagecam days, but actually kind of likes him and thinks he's an OK dude and that we should hang out more and why can't I make nice normal friends like him, he probably might not want to screw up a good thing maybe.

While I'm not his type to begin with, not being attracted to the boobs of a married friend is less about sexual desire and more about personal boundaries.
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I'm married and I want to motorboat you. It just looks so fun!
 
MapleySyrup said:
I'm married and I want to motorboat you. It just looks so fun!
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Wow, this place is strange...r than it used to be. The sale of our kids to the gypsies finally cleared escrow, so I can make a post. Incidentally, the reason I have nothing better to do right now is because the helpdesk guy is in Tampa for training, and I'm filling in at helpdesk for him - first time in about 7 years I've done helpdesk. I'm about an hour in and already want to punch Skye. (Nobody will get that joke, but trust me when I say it's hilarious.)

I'm currently a Network Consultant, so I go around to different companies in the area to fix stuff, install new servers, whatever. Lately I've been doing a lot of work on PCI DSS compliance, which is actually quite interestiasjdfklasdklnsadf- sorry, dozed off for a minute. As Fuxx mentioned, we have two kids now. Some of you met SheBurger when she was four months old - she's 4.5 now and way into My Little Pony and Disney princesses. HeBurger of (motorboating fame) is 2.5 and is way into Star Wars. Honestly, that is probably the greatest achievement of my life so far. Being able to experience Star Wars through the eyes of your 2.5 year old son pretty much negates the need for time travel.

For myself I've been mostly just working and doing stuff outdoors with the kids. However, I've still managed to find time for a couple of personal achievements - I currently have the same number of Tour De France titles as Lance Armstrong, and the same number of original jokes as Carlos Mencia.

Uhh...really, that's about it. I'm pretty boring.


Yes, I still have the boxers. No, I'm not taking a new picture in them.
 
Fat Burger said:
Wow, this place is strange...r than it used to be. The sale of our kids to the gypsies finally cleared escrow, so I can make a post. Incidentally, the reason I have nothing better to do right now is because the helpdesk guy is in Tampa for training, and I'm filling in at helpdesk for him - first time in about 7 years I've done helpdesk. I'm about an hour in and already want to punch Skye. (Nobody will get that joke, but trust me when I say it's hilarious.)

I'm currently a Network Consultant, so I go around to different companies in the area to fix stuff, install new servers, whatever. Lately I've been doing a lot of work on PCI DSS compliance, which is actually quite interestiasjdfklasdklnsadf- sorry, dozed off for a minute. As Fuxx mentioned, we have two kids now. Some of you met SheBurger when she was four months old - she's 4.5 now and way into My Little Pony and Disney princesses. HeBurger of (motorboating fame) is 2.5 and is way into Star Wars. Honestly, that is probably the greatest achievement of my life so far. Being able to experience Star Wars through the eyes of your 2.5 year old son pretty much negates the need for time travel.

For myself I've been mostly just working and doing stuff outdoors with the kids. However, I've still managed to find time for a couple of personal achievements - I currently have the same number of Tour De France titles as Lance Armstrong, and the same number of original jokes as Carlos Mencia.

Uhh...really, that's about it. I'm pretty boring.


Yes, I still have the boxers. No, I'm not taking a new picture in them.
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Some people may get the Skye joke as I was reposting some of the Helpdesk Rivalries stuff a couple months ago for #ThrowbackThursday ! :happy:
 
fly said:
Some people may get the Skye joke as I was reposting some of the Helpdesk Rivalries stuff a couple months ago for #ThrowbackThursday ! :happy:
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Do you have them all? I can't remember how many there were, but I have all of them stashed somewhere.

Syrup Beaver said:
I remember Skye, also your buddy TadSG or whatever he was named.
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Skye wasn't a real person, just loosely based on a real person.

Mr. Asa said:
Does the young'un like Jar Jar?
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He doesn't know Jar Jar exists. Neither kid has seen any of the movies, they're just still somehow obsessed, mostly with Darth Vader.
 
Fat Burger said:
Do you have them all? I can't remember how many there were, but I have all of them stashed somewhere.
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Yep, its all here...

edit: This gem was written by you almost 9 years ago :lol:

According to sources close to the Palestinian leader's French doctors, Yasser Arafat is not concerned with his life as much as with his...love life. Francine Balfour, speaking on condition of anonymity, informed Useless News that Arafat was in fact not admitted for any life-threatening ailment, but to treat Erectile Dysfunction. Erectile Dysfunction is also known as ED, impotence, or as the French like to call it; "Le Dead Worm". Millions all over the world are stricken by this debilitating illness, which is now treatable through drugs such as Viagra or [email protected]. Unfortunately for Arafat, email does not currently exist in Palestine, so the world leader was unaware of such [email protected] and qu1c|< treatment.

Useless News had a chance to talk to another world leader who has also fought with ED; Bob Dole. Mr. Dole informed us that Viagra has changed his life. In fact, throughout the interview he insisted on referring to himself as a "wild stallion" and made references to "sowing his oats like a drunk UNLV frat boy after finals". We unfortunately had to terminate the interview early after Mr. Dole applied electrodes to his nipples and told us to "go wild with these things, I really love it".
He did however, ask us to inform Yasser Arafat's wife that if she was ever feeling lonely, he would bravely face possible suicide bombers in order to give her some [Editor's note: Mr Dole's comments have been removed on the advice of the Surgeon General. We apologize for any inconvenience].

April23, the Useless News resident expert on the causes of ED, was tasked with researching the various cures, including v1@gr@ and ci.aIi-s. After looking through the 5,392 emails received from independant marketers, she had the following conclusive evidence:"overrun barter simpleminded clash heck coatings purification hammocks enticed quacked grimed tentacles employing
melody contributes quota letter annoyance".
If anyone has any idea what this means please, please let us know.

Meanwhile in Paris, doctors are keeping Mr. Arafat under heavy surveillance. Although the hospital is currently closed off to any visitors, we have received reports of a recent shipment of magnifying glasses and tweezers. This leads us to believe that perhaps the French doctors are trying the ancient art of acupuncture, and are ensuring that it is safe and accurate. At least, we hope so. For his wife's sake. But if not, Bob Dole is easy to find.
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