TransfoaMERS? More like TransfoaMEHS, amirite?

water

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Oct 29, 2004
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We watched Transformers recently, and like just about every other movie released in the last 5 years (except 300 and Casino Royale) I was underwhelmed and felt violated when the credits finally rolled.

Pros:

Megan Fox is so hot she sets people of both sexes on fire just looking at her.

Cons:

The plot made no sense.

The action sequences had so much going on that they were hard to follow.

Optimus Prime moves and looks like a big robot gorilla.

Megatron is in it for 15 minutes total.

The transformers have mouths now?
 
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We watched Transformers recently, and like just about every other movie released in the last 5 years (except 300 and Casino Royale) I was underwhelmed and felt violated when the credits finally rolled.

Pros:

Megan Fox is so hot she sets people of both sexes on fire just looking at her.

Cons:

The plot made no sense.

The action sequences had so much going on that they were hard to follow.

Optimus Prime moves and looks like a big robot gorilla.

Megatron is in it for 15 minutes total.

The transformers have mouths now?

Plot made no sense? Cube landed on Earth. Megatron went to retreive it but messed up. Autobots come to get it and destroy it before the Decepticons can use it.

Transformers always had mouths on some of their characters

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Its a movie about giant robots from outter space chasing a cube that just so happened to land on Earth, its suppose to be lame. On that note, I enjoyed it and watched it for what it was, nothing more.
 
1. I was originally miffed about the intro but then figured I get to hear Prime talk so I can deal with it. I expected something different for a beginning however. Neutral.

2. Bunch of cliche military guys being cliche military guys. Sucre being bitched at for talking in spanish was mildly amusing but dude talking about seeing his daughter for the first time just screamed trite and told us flat out he was going to be in life or death situations. -1

3. When Blackout lands at SOCCENT FWD my heart was racing. When I heard "the sound" for the first time a chill ran up my spine and I was THRILLED. Absolutely awesome scene. +1

4. Sam Witicky was funny. +1

5. Bernie Mac was funny but utterly unnecessary to the story. Neutral.

6. Megan Fox. +1

7. Megan Fox being the stereotypical bimbo/heroine that naturally dates a douchebag jock in the beginning and then suddenly turns into a deep, beautiful soul that fights with the good guys. -1

8. That first meeting regarding the base attack looked promising. It's too bad they absolutely ruined it with...

9. Black hacker kid. :rolleyes: Absolutely retarded. I really like that actor but there is no reason that character should have been in the movie. -1

10. Fat hacker discovering a coded message in the signal that's perfectly legible on a standard Windows GUI. -2

11. Frenzy jumping out of Air Force One and walking across the tarmac - infested with Secret Service agents - and NO ONE NOTICES HIM??!? -1

12. Barricade looks damn cool, though. +1

13. Barricade scaring the crap out of Sam made my ticker race as well. +1

14. "Are you username LadiesMan217??!?" :tard: goddamnit -1

15. Ok when the car chase started I was expecting a good scene and I think I got it. It was a decent chase, especially with Barricade transforming. HOWEVER, when Bumblebee comes out of the dust cloud and we hear the absolute worst cliche car chase music ever imagined by any sapient creature on any planet I wanted to kick Michael Bay in the face. -1

16. On the other hand the fight between Barricade and Bumblebee was top notch. Bravo. +1

17. If the Autobots are so concerned with not harming people then why the hell did they come down in giant fireballs in populated areas that destroyed a lot of property and could very well have killed dozens if not hundreds of innocent people?

18. Optimus Prime transforms for the first time. Oh my god that alone was worth the price of admission. Seriously. +1

19. Jazz is black now? :lol:

20. "But you can call us Autobots, for short." for fuck's sake...

21. Prime's mouth was interesting but I would have preferred the solid mouthpiece. Not a big deal, though.

22. Is it really that hard for them to stay out of the way, parked on the street, while Sam looks for the glasses?

23. Optimus Prime steps on a fountain and says "Sorry, my bad." Fuck you, Michael Bay. Just fuck you. -4

24. "Call the city, we've got a blue transformer throwing sparks everywhere." :lol:



I'll finish the rest of this post but right now my blood pressure is too high just thinking about what I'm going to discuss next.
 
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And the connection with the grandfather's glasses? :thrawn:

When the balst occured after he fell into the cavern where megatron was, that blast was actually trascribing the exact location of the cube and they were etched into his glasses. They actually said this in the movie.
 
i've heard nothing but good things about the movie. until now. but i still really want to see it. is the song the same? there'd better be the song.
 
i've heard nothing but good things about the movie. until now. but i still really want to see it. is the song the same? there'd better be the song.

No and what they put in the soundtrack will make you want to murder. If you thought the original theme was gay and cheesy, the new version will out gay it.

The worst rendition of the Transformers theme ever on the face of this planet.


Disturbed's song on this is pretty fricken awesome though.
 
The glasses were imprinted with the map to the cube because he mistakenly found "the ice monster" megatron. How did you not follow Transformers??? lol

Edit, somebody already explained that, nevermind
 
SPOILER!

But the cube was MOVED when they located Megatron and it!!!! So the glasses should have been worthless but somehow the autobots still find the correct location of the cube even though the map would have shown somewhere totally different. That annoyed me. I liked the movie but didn't expect a lot going in. Megan Fox is so damn hot in that movie.
 
SPOILER!

But the cube was MOVED when they located Megatron and it!!!! So the glasses should have been worthless but somehow the autobots still find the correct location of the cube even though the map would have shown somewhere totally different. That annoyed me. I liked the movie but didn't expect a lot going in. Megan Fox is so damn hot in that movie.

From what I remember (I'll have to watch it again) the cube never was with megatron. That was Megatron and his transporter. The transporter is what inscribed the symbols on the glasses. The cube was always in what became Hoover Dam
 
i've heard nothing but good things about the movie. until now. but i still really want to see it. is the song the same? there'd better be the song.

If you liked Transformers from back in the day you will love the movie just the same. People who go into thinking they are going to see some realistic non-corny movie should just stay out. I dont understand how people call this movie corny, NO SHIT, so was the TV series, kinda the point
 
If you liked Transformers from back in the day you will love the movie just the same. People who go into thinking they are going to see some realistic non-corny movie should just stay out. I dont understand how people call this movie corny, NO SHIT, so was the TV series, kinda the point

Exactly, which is why I loved this movie. 2nd only to 300
 
From what I remember (I'll have to watch it again) the cube never was with megatron. That was Megatron and his transporter. The transporter is what inscribed the symbols on the glasses. The cube was always in what became Hoover Dam

This is true, Hoover built the dam around it.