Today I said good bye to a lifetime friend

C

Candy

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Jun 10, 2005
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:( I have been putting it off for awhile but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I was planning on actually trying to talk to this person to see if the damage could be repaired, but I waited too long thinking their ways would change and finally this morning everything came to a head. I can't give away too much info because some of you may know this person - this is more of a vent thread then anything else. After months of being lied to about everything from what they had for breakfast to their SO having "complications" and being in the hospital - I cut it off. The sad part is that we grew up together, and we have been there for this person through thick and thin. I would like to blame it on childhood, drugs, anything - but there is no excuse for this last bout of lies. This morning this person put me in the most difficult position yet - and didn't have the balls to even respond except for a fucking text message.

I like to think that I am a good friend. I don't tell secrets, and I will bend over every way to Sunday to help my friends out. I would give you the shirt off my back [insert boob jokes here :eek: ] I am sick to my stomach literally as I write this, but I have had absolutly enough and I can no longer put myself and my family in positions to fail because of one person.

So... So long!

Is this what happens when you turn 30? You finally grow up enough to realize who is important in your life and who is cancer? I ask myself, who do I REALLY need? I have a wonderful husband, family and a handful of people I can trust with my life. All could concievably wear the title "best friend."

Has anyone else been put in this position when enough is just ENOUGH? TGIF! I plan on getting stupid drunk tongiht as my entire day has gone to shit in about 20 minutes flat.

On the bright side, it is the New Year and I think there is no better way to start it then to start fresh.
 
Good for you. Only keep the friends around you that make you want to be a better person, not drag you and your loved ones down. :heart:
 
I got to this point with my old best friend about 3 years ago. He always used to embellish stories when we were younger (in highschool) but it was always harmless. Then we both went to college. I eventually graduated, he did not but made up wild stories about being in aerospace engineering. I whatevered it and got a job and was living on my own. He continued telling me wild claims. Eventually he dropped out of college and now works at a cell phone retailer and still lives with his parents...but I know that through his dad who still emails with me from time to time. He started drinking heavily in college and I would say he was an alcoholic. This was part of the problem but definitely not the whole problem.

Long story short, at one time I saw this person as being the best man at my wedding one day, during my wedding I almost didn't make him a groomsman, and with good reason. He was 3 hours late and almost missed the pictures. Didn't smile in any picture, and acted like an ass the whole time during my wedding. After that I called it. Haven't heard from him since.

You'll move on, I did. Those people will never change/grow but luckily you can and will.
 
ERage said:
I got to this point with my old best friend about 3 years ago. He always used to embellish stories when we were younger (in highschool) but it was always harmless. Then we both went to college. I eventually graduated, he did not but made up wild stories about being in aerospace engineering. I whatevered it and got a job and was living on my own. He continued telling me wild claims. Eventually he dropped out of college and now works at a cell phone retailer and still lives with his parents...but I know that through his dad who still emails with me from time to time. He started drinking heavily in college and I would say he was an alcoholic. This was part of the problem but definitely not the whole problem.

Long story short, at one time I saw this person as being the best man at my wedding one day, during my wedding I almost didn't make him a groomsman, and with good reason. He was 3 hours late and almost missed the pictures. Didn't smile in any picture, and acted like an ass the whole time during my wedding. After that I called it. Haven't heard from him since.

You'll move on, I did. Those people will never change/grow but luckily you can and will.
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Thanks for the story - this person has been a mess several times in the company of others as well and I have excused their behavior and apologized, etc etc.
 
Candy said:
Thanks for the story - this person has been a mess several times in the company of others as well and I have excused their behavior and apologized, etc etc.
Click to expand...

Been there and done that. You've done the right thing. You'll see that as the drama reduces with that person being out of your life. I was lucky enough that it got to the breaking point in my mid 20's instead of my 30's.
 
I understand where you're coming from. As you may know (lol) I had to part ways with the love of my life because sometimes good people can be bad people around each other.

I've had to cut out friends as well. I put up with a lot of shit until my "friend" abandoned me while I was having surgery and I had no car, no phone, no way to get ahold of anyone. Thank God, Jeff came home early and saw that I wasn't there.

Damn people suck.
 
ERage said:
I got to this point with my old best friend about 3 years ago. He always used to embellish stories when we were younger (in highschool) but it was always harmless. Then we both went to college. I eventually graduated, he did not but made up wild stories about being in aerospace engineering. I whatevered it and got a job and was living on my own. He continued telling me wild claims. Eventually he dropped out of college and now works at a cell phone retailer and still lives with his parents...but I know that through his dad who still emails with me from time to time. He started drinking heavily in college and I would say he was an alcoholic. This was part of the problem but definitely not the whole problem.

Long story short, at one time I saw this person as being the best man at my wedding one day, during my wedding I almost didn't make him a groomsman, and with good reason. He was 3 hours late and almost missed the pictures. Didn't smile in any picture, and acted like an ass the whole time during my wedding. After that I called it. Haven't heard from him since.

You'll move on, I did. Those people will never change/grow but luckily you can and will.
Click to expand...



Boy does THIS sound familiar. I cut my best man 2 or 3 weeks prior to the wedding due to similar indiscretions, among other, more risky ones. 23 years down the shitter because someone can't behave. I guess I have myself to blame for assuming people will change and/or are different than they actually are. It destroyed me inside until just recently.
 
I did that recently too. people that cause copious amounts of unneeded drama get shown the door pretty quick in my life

edit: not a lifelong friend but one of a couple years who I was pretty close with
 
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Sorry Candy. That's always rough.


I think my biggest instance of my giving up a friend happened 7 years ago. I had a friend that was my best friend growing up and I thought of as my brother. I went away to college but still managed to keep in touch. When I came back we moved in together. After that things started spiraling out of control. He was dealing hardcore and taking way too many risks. I was trying to put my life back together after some bad stuff and had started a respectable job. We started bumping heads a lot.
When I started dating a girl he dated for a week or two when he was 16 things went to hell. He did give me his permission and she called him the mistake. Turns out he still considered her the love of his life and was constantly talking bad about me behind my back to her and was being a dick.
Lots of bad stuff happened so he and I called it quits and I've seen him twice since then and we barely even said hey. His life did several major crashes since then and he's degraded into scum that none of his past friends will tolerate.
 
I guess we all have friends like this.

I dropped a good friend of mine of whom I was inseparable with since middle school about three years ago. Of course, she has all the attributes of a bad friend, the compulsive lying, the drug overuse, erratic behavior that got the two of us in lots of trouble.

There was a time that her and I and my bf at the time were in my old Mustang driving back from somewhere and she decided to tell me while I was driving that her and the bf were seeing each other behind my back. I didn't freak out, but she sure did. (I kinda figured, but it still made me drive like a mad man) While I was going 20-30ish she decided it was a good idea to jump out of my car. Unhurt, but stupid.

Another time while she was living in South Carolina with her husband that's in the Navy, she decided to come for a visit. Okay cool, maybe we can reconcile all of our differences. She brought with her, her two year old son and her roommate/friend of her husbands. That weirded me out... I asked if her husband knew (since he was deployed and all) she said he didn't need to know. They slept in the same bed.

Cut off all ties since then. There are more drastic stories of her getting her stomach pumped and stuff. Our relationship just wasn't healthy. She had lies about everything you can think of... and would keep up with them.
 
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