NSFW [SPAM Thread] WAW's colostomy bag. Spam here.

Status
Not open for further replies.
It all started the morning of 9/11. I'm a freshman in college, going to school right outside of DC on the Virginia side. My roommate's mom calls our room around 9:15 (My timeline may be a few minutes off, it's been 10 yrs), about 2 hrs earlier than I anticipated waking up, asking me if we're watching the news. We aren't. She tells me what's going on and I have a sick desire to take a 10 minute drive to the Pentagon.

As an idiot 18-year-old who is new to the big city, I do not take into account the probability of traffic gridlock the likes of which the world has never seen given these circumstances. I gleefully hop onto I-66 around 9:45 and quickly realize that I'm not going anywhere for at least a couple of hours. Unfortunately for me, I needed to find a toilet in the next 5 minutes. I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of driving a stick shift and having to shit in your car at the same time in stop-and-go traffic, but I don't endorse it.

I pull a floormat from my back seat and place it under my ass, then gracefully balance my body weight on my right elbow and heels of my feet to shit. So I'm sitting here for about 2 hours, traveling a round trip total of about 6 miles, constantly shifting between brake/1st gear/2nd gear, with one foot on the clutch and one foot on the brake/gas at all times, and not being able to sit down the entire time because I have a pile of wet feces 6 inches from my asscheeks. Meanwhile I never get within sight of the Pentagon because all of the exits on I-66 leading to the Pentagon are closed for obvious reasons. I manage to pull behind a Rite Aid and dump the poor floor mat, then scoot on back over to campus where I immediately shower like I've never showered before.
 
Duke said:
It all started the morning of 9/11. I'm a freshman in college, going to school right outside of DC on the Virginia side. My roommate's mom calls our room around 9:15 (My timeline may be a few minutes off, it's been 10 yrs), about 2 hrs earlier than I anticipated waking up, asking me if we're watching the news. We aren't. She tells me what's going on and I have a sick desire to take a 10 minute drive to the Pentagon.

As an idiot 18-year-old who is new to the big city, I do not take into account the probability of traffic gridlock the likes of which the world has never seen given these circumstances. I gleefully hop onto I-66 around 9:45 and quickly realize that I'm not going anywhere for at least a couple of hours. Unfortunately for me, I needed to find a toilet in the next 5 minutes. I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of driving a stick shift and having to shit in your car at the same time in stop-and-go traffic, but I don't endorse it.

I pull a floormat from my back seat and place it under my ass, then gracefully balance my body weight on my right elbow and heels of my feet to shit. So I'm sitting here for about 2 hours, traveling a round trip total of about 6 miles, constantly shifting between brake/1st gear/2nd gear, with one foot on the clutch and one foot on the brake/gas at all times, and not being able to sit down the entire time because I have a pile of wet feces 6 inches from my asscheeks. Meanwhile I never get within sight of the Pentagon because all of the exits on I-66 leading to the Pentagon are closed for obvious reasons. I manage to pull behind a Rite Aid and dump the poor floor mat, then scoot on back over to campus where I immediately shower like I've never showered before.
Click to expand...

:barf: :barf:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom
Back