lol hearts

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
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On Wednesday afternoon I was sitting in my office working on a spreadsheet when I felt two quick, deep pains within my chest. Immediately thereafter my heart stuttered pretty heavily, as though it had stopped and was firing back up again, and then my vision started to go black. Needless to say I was scared shitless. I stood up, it happened again, and I stumbled into the lawyer's office across the hall and told him to call an ambulance, convinced I was about to die at 32.

The paramedics arrived, ran some tests, asked me if I had consumed any caffeine or been under a lot of stress, two leading causes of arrythmia, and then politely informed me that there was nothing wrong. "On the contrary, my good men," I replied, twisting the ends of my mustache, "Chest pains and loss of consciousness are not a part of my daily regimen." Off they went, however, and I was left to my own wits and devices.

I took yesterday off to clean all the embarrassing porn off my computer at home and go to the doctor. Neither the cardiologist nor the general practitioner I went to see were able to offer any satisfactory explanations, and their ECG tests showed nothing. It wasn't until a random conversation today with another attorney at my firm (one specialized in estates, which I found...amusing) that a light went on over my head.

She has a condition called mitral valve prolapse, and first began experiencing symptoms in her late 20s. They are identical to what I experienced, and she admitted that when it first happend she was scared shitless and assumed she was about to die. It wasn't until her third round of tests that it was pinpointed, when the doctor decided to take a sonogram of her heart so he could troubleshoot it in real time with a digital image. Not once did any of the motherfuckers mention a sonogram yesterday.

I'm not sure if this is what I have yet, but I will be going in for the sonogram pretty soon to see. All other tests have shown a normal, healthy heart but so far the "wait and see" prognosis isn't working out very well for me as I haven't slept much in two days.

I will also be taking advantage of my firm's free wills for employees policy so I'm not forced to write a quick note on my bedroom wall as I'm passing out.

The lessons here?

1. Don't listen to paramedics or cardiologists when it comes to your heart. Listen to lawyers who specialize in death.

2. Get a will drafted.

3. If I suddenly drop dead, thanks for all the lolz. Pity noodz from Juli before I die, please.
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
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On Wednesday afternoon I was sitting in my office working on a spreadsheet when I felt two quick, deep pains within my chest. Immediately thereafter my heart stuttered pretty heavily, as though it had stopped and was firing back up again, and then my vision started to go black. Needless to say I was scared shitless. I stood up, it happened again, and I stumbled into the lawyer's office across the hall and told him to call an ambulance, convinced I was about to die at 32.

The paramedics arrived, ran some tests, asked me if I had consumed any caffeine or been under a lot of stress, two leading causes of arrythmia, and then politely informed me that there was nothing wrong. "On the contrary, my good men," I replied, twisting the ends of my mustache, "Chest pains and loss of consciousness are not a part of my daily regimen." Off they went, however, and I was left to my own wits and devices.

I took yesterday off to clean all the embarrassing porn off my computer at home and go to the doctor. Neither the cardiologist nor the general practitioner I went to see were able to offer any satisfactory explanations, and their ECG tests showed nothing. It wasn't until a random conversation today with another attorney at my firm (one specialized in estates, which I found...amusing) that a light went on over my head.

She has a condition called mitral valve prolapse, and first began experiencing symptoms in her late 20s. They are identical to what I experienced, and she admitted that when it first happend she was scared shitless and assumed she was about to die. It wasn't until her third round of tests that it was pinpointed, when the doctor decided to take a sonogram of her heart so he could troubleshoot it in real time with a digital image. Not once did any of the motherfuckers mention a sonogram yesterday.

I'm not sure if this is what I have yet, but I will be going in for the sonogram pretty soon to see. All other tests have shown a normal, healthy heart but so far the "wait and see" prognosis isn't working out very well for me as I haven't slept much in two days.

I will also be taking advantage of my firm's free wills for employees policy so I'm not forced to write a quick note on my bedroom wall as I'm passing out.

The lessons here?

1. Don't listen to paramedics or cardiologists when it comes to your heart. Listen to lawyers who specialize in death.

2. Get a will drafted.

3. If I suddenly drop dead, thanks for all the lolz. Pity noodz from Juli before I die, please.
I took yesterday off to clean all the embarrassing porn off my computer
:lol: !!

That sounds entirely skeery, Damon! I'm glad you're still alive to clammor away for nudez in your pee em box! FYI: You're amongst a very small group that I'd send noodz to if they were on their death bed! :heart: I think God would approve. And Liam. It's charity for the death!

Fucking [email protected] fact that you go to a doctor for concerns about your HEART and they don't order a sonogram!!
Crazy!
 
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tre

My favorite chef is Mike Rowave
Oct 15, 2004
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Hey, I've had similar scary shit involving my ticker. I have a "minor" condition that should correct itself, but I have to go through rounds of scans, ultrasounds and chest x-rays every few years now apparently to make sure it doesn't become something serious.
 

Sarcasmo

A Taste Of Honey Fluff Boy
Mar 28, 2005
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wow dude. no more hookers and blow benders for you! hope everything works out
That's the thing, I have no lifestyle changes to make. I eat healthy, don't smoke or drink heavily or do drugs, I don't even have any tattoos. I'm vanilla. And all tests so far have shown that I'm very healthy. So wtf.

I can't even describe the mortal horror of feeling your heart shudder within your chest and then getting light headed and having your vision go black. I'm not a doctor, and I've never survived a heart attack (apparently), but I imagine it goes something like that. f*cked up.
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
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That's the thing, I have no lifestyle changes to make. I eat healthy, don't smoke or drink heavily or do drugs, I don't even have any tattoos. I'm vanilla. And all tests so far have shown that I'm very healthy. So wtf.

I can't even describe the mortal horror of feeling your heart shudder within your chest and then getting light headed and having your vision go black. I'm not a doctor, and I've never survived a heart attack (apparently), but I imagine it goes something like that. f*cked up.
I serially cannot imagine. It must've been sooper skeery. :( :( :( :(
Good luck in finding a proper diagnosis. :heart:
 

Duke

. . first name's "Daisy" boys
May 12, 2008
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It's a good thing you picked Juli, since we know Dharma never pays up.

We were due for another medical catastrophe here though. This year has been too healthily quiet. (shutupdukeshutupdukeshutupdukeshutupduke)

Hope it's something they can fix and then you can forget.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
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So was it similar to a heart attack?

That is scary. I don't always trust doctors either. They're human and are capable of major mistakes.
 

Jonny_B

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
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no tunnel? no life flashing before eyes? you couldn't have even been that close. let us know when you have a REAL near-death experience.
 

Thorn Bird

Forum Mom
May 24, 2005
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:mad:i will be VERY VERY pissed off if you die. or any of you other assholes, for that matter. :mad:

that should be enough to scare you into living a very long life. now go to the corner for scaring us, and while you're there, pat yourself on the back for being proactive, determined, and for listening to your gut. er, heart. er, something.

:heart: :heart: :(